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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5824
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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My therapist said that I should let my spouses verbal

Resolved Question:

My therapist said that I should let my spouses verbal tirades "roll of my back" because I am to "sensitive". Should name calling, foot stomping, and accusations be acceptable behavior? It doesn't sound right to me and is contrary to everything I have read. I wouldn't accept this from a three year old. I would hold him accountable for his actions and teach him how to resolve his feelings in a healthy, age appropriate way. My therapist has also indicated that my spouse has narcissistic tendencies. Is there any way that I can show my therapist the error in her counsel? I don't want to just walk away and leave her to continue and possible hurt further another client that isn't as learned or strong as I am. If I didn't know better, I would have trusted her advise and this would have created so many more problems for me.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 6 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

If your spouse's tirades are disturbing enough to you to bring it up in therapy, then it needs addressed in a better way.

From the behavior you mentioned, it sounds like your spouse is either narcissistic or his he emotionally abusive or both. Name calling and accusations are both considered emotional abuse. They are assaults on you as a person. And emotional abuse is unacceptable behavior in a marriage.

Sometimes therapists make mistakes. Or they come at a problem from an angle they feel is helpful when it is not. And sometimes therapists are not that good as is the case in any field. Training, experience and/or personal issues can get in the way and cause a therapist to make poor decisions with clients. And you are right, sometimes therapists can do more harm than good, just like any other professional.

You can talk to your therapist about how you feel. Start by learning more about emotional abuse and narcissism. The more you know, the better equipped you will be to talk to your therapist about her advice. Here are some links to help you:

If you feel your therapist is not helping you and she continues to offer you the same type of responses, you may need to move on to another therapist. But unless she is breaking an ethics code, you really cannot report her. But you can find a new therapist that is better equipped to help you. Here is a link to find a new therapist:

I hope this has helped you,

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