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Ask Dr. Ed Wilfong Your Own Question
Dr. Ed Wilfong
Dr. Ed Wilfong, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1528
Experience:  Twenty-five years treating all ages; Specialities: psychopharmacology & diagnosis, MMPI-2, testing.
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I have a situation with my mother in law. She is 65y/o,

Resolved Question:

I have a situation with my mother in law. She is 65y/o, obsessed with spirituality, universal energy and all this metaphysical field. Nothing against it, but the facts say, that the sect she is in, only manipulate people and take money out of them.
My problem is that - She lives with me my husband and my 3 y/o daughter. She inputs her concepts of "child of God" (my daughter) and wants me to raise my daughter in her way. Ok I can agree for her to help me, but this became too obsessive, she wants to control everything, I can barely talk to my own daughter. She thinks that she is a special child and how I raise her is not wright, and I only make mistakes, thats why I should let everything in her hands. The result that I see is that my daughter is very aggressive with other people, even with me and her dad. She doesnt want to do anything (like getting dressed, wash hands so on), she can kick with hate.This behavior is only on others but not with her.
I understand that for every grandparent grandchildren are special, and they spoil them. But it became too much.Its like she is protecting my daughter from me. How can I deal with her?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 6 years ago.
Dr. Ed Wilfong :

It is your house. Get her out. (sorry so blunt, not much else you can do)


If it was that easy... Her son and granddaughter is the only one she has, and I try to respect that. Also My husband is against, he wants her around, he feels that since she brought up him alone, now is his turn to take care of her. I really dont know how to behave for her to understand that I am the mother, and I have the right to take part in my daughters education.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

There is likely a reason she has no one else. If she is there, I am not sure if you can do anything. She is not terribly normal. Honestly, in my opinion you are having to make a choice between having mother live with you or daughters mental health. Within a year, she will be in the stage where moral development starts (4-6). Husband has same choice. I would protect kid, but that is up to you.


Should I make my husband choose - mother or me and daughter? Thats a terrible choice.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

I understand how hard that seems and not meant to be cruel. I wonder what the consequence is of not making a choice. How do you see your life and daughters 2 years from now if things continue as is? And what would it mean about marraige and child if he chooses mother?? Give these things some thought.

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