Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
No, you are not crazy for not being emotional about this situation. You are trying to hold it all together right now, and trying to be calm and strong is what you feel is best for the moment. Many people going through a tough time will hold their emotions in so they can cope with the difficulties they are faced with. But once the difficult time is over, the emotions will come out. That is when you need to allow yourself to experience the grief and loss that come with divorce.
You may also need an outlet right now. Going through the stress of the divorce and holding your family together for as long as it takes is not easy. Most people begin to feel the stress and get to the point they need to talk about it or somehow express what they feel. Having no family or friends to share your feelings with means you have no support, which is vital in helping you through this time. A therapist would be a good option, but since it is not feasible for you right now, you could opt for support on line until you can make other arrangements. There are numerous support groups and helpful information on line. Here are some resources to help:
Also, find other ways to express how you feel. Some people find writing out their feelings in a journal or even in a private blog helps. You can also express yourself through art or music. You can have therapeutic benefit from something as simple as just turning up your stereo and dancing for fun. Use relaxation CDs, positive thought CDs, or read about increasing your self esteem.
Make some plans to go out of town with the kids once your divorce is final. Give yourself something to look forward to and some time to begin the grieving process. Even if you cannot afford much, try a long weekend somewhere. The change in scenery and a break may be all you need to help you begin your recovery.
I hope this has helped you,