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Ask Dr. Shirley Schaye Your Own Question
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1673
Experience:  PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
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After a near break up with my boyfriend of 6 years because

Customer Question

After a near break up with my boyfriend of 6 years because he was going through a strange phase and feeling nervous about our future, we worked it out and everything is so much better now. However, this experience really changed me. I can't stand being away from him, I feel like I am going to go crazy if I don't see him. It is keeping me from doing daily activities and anytime  I think about it I want to cry. I have talked to family members, friends, my doctor and obviously my boyfriend but I am so embarrassed to tell anyone especially my boyfriend. I feel like I need to be strong and keep it together or else he will think I am crazy and want to leave again. I feel like its me thats going to screw things up. Do I need help or will time heal all? We almost broke up almost 3 months ago
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Shirley Schaye replied 6 years ago.
Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Thank you for contacting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about what has been going on. You are so very wise thinking that you shouldn't talk to him about this. You don't want to push him away. I would strongly advise you to see a therapist for a little while to work these feelings through. It is certainly not ok to feel that you are going crazy if you don't see him. Don't put yourself in a situation where you are dealing with this by yourself. Talking to a therapist will help you work things through where you will feel totally comfortable even when you are not with him. If you give me your city, state and zip code I will find someone for you.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

I see you are offline. I'll pause here and await your response. If we don't connect tonight I will check in again tomorrow AM and if I have your city, state and zip code I will be able to look for someone for you. So, I will say good night and check back tomorrow AM.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Oh, hi

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Oh, I see you went offline again.

Customer:

I am back.

Customer:

I was really hoping to avoid seeing a therapist. I am a college student and I don't know how I would be able to see one and be able to pay for it and school. I was hoping my university had a school therapist.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Good morning! I understand that but given how you are feeling you need someone to help you move beyond this point. I am interested in helping you work this through so that your boyfriend doesn't break off with you again. So let's together look at how you could find someone at school. Almost all schools have a counseling service. Let's start there. If you go to there counseling service and set up an appointment someone could help you there.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

When you get back online let me know if there is a counseling service at your university. If not, I'll try and help you find someone low cost.