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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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My dear friend is very upset at the moment. She lost her mother

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My dear friend is very upset at the moment. She lost her mother last June to illness which lasted many years her father is a manic depressive who is also an alcoholic who starts drinking every day at 11 o clock. My friend now looks after him and her uncle who has downs syndrome and is 62 years old. Her family consists of two children girl who has been treated for balemia and is 19 years old and now off to university and a boy who is 16 and has dispraxia although not confirmed. She is in a marriage of 23 years and until recently has just put up with all life has thrown at her with a smile.
She has now met someone who she feels for very deeply and he feels the same though he too is married with three young children. They know they can't do anything about their love cos they can't hurt the people around them . More and more I see my friend getting tireder and now she is in a whirlwind of emotion which causes her to just cry and unable to control her sadness. What can I do to support my friend she is hurting so badly. She won't go to the doctor she thinks she has to pull herself together I see her try but failing. Her husband is aware that she has not loved him for years but he won't leave her cos he said he loves her enough to live like this. It hurts her cos she said he should have someone who loves him back and has told him so even his mother thinks to live like this is ok. She only has a little part time job and worries about financially supporting herself and kids. I need advice on how I can help her I need to support her right so she can navigate through this depression.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

The best thing you can do for your friend is to be the best friend you can. Friendships are irreplaceable especially in times of extreme emotions. Help her decide if this relationship and other stressors are becoming more than what she can handle. You can help facilitate or encourage her to find a therapist that can help sort this out. Sometimes when people are depressed this can come with a total lack of motivation. First listen to her and offer impartial support. Then suggest that she find a therapist who can help her sort out her life and look at her choices. She may be the caregiver type - cares for others first and not for herself. Sometimes that reburies someone close encouraging them to address their needs because they don't always do so.


I would do a little research for her. Find a therapist in your area and this will help to advocate for counseling. You can even go with her.


Let her make her decisions. It is up to you if you choose to support them. Most importantly listen

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