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Answered in 31 minutes by:
8/13/2011
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Dear friend,
Your girlfriend is in a dilemma because she is faced with a choice of getting the treatment but revealing her condition and therefore losing her job, or not getting the treatment, retaining her job (if she can stand it), but will be returning to the very job that probably put her over the edge.
Individuals who can keep their borderline personality traits in check under normal conditions, lose control under stress. Her very job is fraught with stress and it may not be the one she needs to return to.
Perhaps she can search for new work that is less stressful and even take a pay cut. Perhaps she can work this out with her current employer and frame it in a way that she will not lose her job.
The fact that she has been able to restrain herself so long shows an amazing strength. Because she has BPD she will worry even more about losing job, friends, etc. You must continue to support her to the max (and it appears that is EXACTLY what you are doing.).
It is incontrovertible that stress exacerbates BPD. Here is a page full of anecdotal support for that premise.
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=57909.0
She may not have to lose her career, but she may have to change jobs or get some stress relief from this one. If approached properly, speaking with a sympthetic boss or supervisor in a very tactful manner may be the best approach, rather than it come to her/his desk through an in-house medical report.
The other thing she can do is to have counseling with a clinician who specializes in personality disorders and she may then learn and practice more behavioral and cognitive techniques for raising her threshold of reaction to work-related stress.
I wish both of you the best in finding that therapist and/or working with her employer to give her a little relief. If she has been doing a good job, then she is already a trained asset and they will want to hold on to her.
My very best wishes to both of you,
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC
Dear friend,
Your girlfriend is in a dilemma because she is faced with a choice of getting the treatment but revealing her condition and therefore losing her job, or not getting the treatment, retaining her job (if she can stand it), but will be returning to the very job that probably put her over the edge.
Individuals who can keep their borderline personality traits in check under normal conditions, lose control under stress. Her very job is fraught with stress and it may not be the one she needs to return to.
Perhaps she can search for new work that is less stressful and even take a pay cut. Perhaps she can work this out with her current employer and frame it in a way that she will not lose her job.
The fact that she has been able to restrain herself so long shows an amazing strength. Because she has BPD she will worry even more about losing job, friends, etc. You must continue to support her to the max (and it appears that is EXACTLY what you are doing.).
It is incontrovertible that stress exacerbates BPD. Here is a page full of anecdotal support for that premise.
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=57909.0
She may not have to lose her career, but she may have to change jobs or get some stress relief from this one. If approached properly, speaking with a sympthetic boss or supervisor in a very tactful manner may be the best approach, rather than it come to her/his desk through an in-house medical report.
The other thing she can do is to have counseling with a clinician who specializes in personality disorders and she may then learn and practice more behavioral and cognitive techniques for raising her threshold of reaction to work-related stress.
I wish both of you the best in finding that therapist and/or working with her employer to give her a little relief. If she has been doing a good job, then she is already a trained asset and they will want to hold on to her.
My very best wishes to both of you,
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
VerifiedElliott, LPCC, NCC and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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