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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5838
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I found out by mistake that our 21 year old child has been

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I found out by mistake that our 21 year old child has been put on academic suspension, he quit in the middle of last semester, he said he needed a break from college. He's working a full time job that pays well and he's doing great.He graduated from high school with honors and took 3 college classes his senior year-making A's. Why hasn't he told us anything, should we confront him or let it go?

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like your son just needs a break. Not all kids feel they are ready to pursue education right away. Some feel that time in between high school and college gives them the opportunity to grow and mature. He may have thought that college was ok at first but decided that it was too much, especially with a full time job.

He may also want the chance to test out his freedom and make his own choices. He is young and newly on his own so he may feel the need to try different options to see what makes him feel happy in his life.

Part of the issue may be that your son is a high achiever. He may feel that he is always under pressure to perform and he has realized that the pressure is getting to him (This is a trait of high achievers. They often put pressure on themselves to do well). He may have decided that before he finds himself in trouble of some sort, he needed to take a break. Academic pressure can be severe, especially for the highly intelligent.

I would not worry about your son. He sounds like he is taking care of himself. He has a good job and is doing well, as you noted. He is also very intelligent so he either will eventually either do very well in his job or he will chose to go back to school and finish.

If your son should show signs that he is having problems such as losing the motivation to care for himself, not socializing, not caring for himself or rejecting any of your attempts to help then you should try to get him an evaluation with a therapist. Otherwise, give him time to sort this out for himself.

I hope this has helped you,

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
We found out when he withdrew last semester, that he had a heart problem, his heart
beats far too fast per minute. He was put on Beta Blockers and seems to be doing real well.

Should we comfront him about knowing that he was on academic suspension or not?

You can mention it to him, but you may want to try doing it in a respectful way. He may be worried about his health and decided that it was too much pressure. Allowing him to decide how he wants to handle it gives him the opportunity to feel like his decision was ok and that you support him.


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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you, ***** ***** been very helpful.
I appreciate your advice.