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AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
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Dr I have a 29year intelligently disabled son who is

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Dr Mark I have a 29year intelligently disabled son who is suffering from depression and anxiousity.he doesnt do anything he just goe towork at special centre and then come home and watch tv or play computor games he doesnt like mixing with people i am afraid he is uphappy. he also makes him self sick,i am having that looked at physical test what can i do to help.I have a metal health plan for him to see pyschrost.but he doesnt want to.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 6 years ago.
How is he disabled? Does he say he is depressed, unhappy, or wants to be with others? has he always been like this? What does he worry about? Has he had treatment before?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

He is intelligently disabled,

He has talked about why what the poiint of living,

no it just been the last 6mths,he always been a loner,he has always wanted to have other people-men in live,'

I am single mum,he has seen his dad since he was 13years age.( i think this has a lot to do with it.even when is dad was here he didnt want him and told him so,so he never had a male role model.

so it easier for him to just stay home and watch tv.(he wont get hurt then)

I have taken him to gp and they have put in place mental health plan to see a psychologist,who has had dealing with the intelligently disabled where he works.

He doesnt like doctors,so i am having trouble getting him there,as he has seen so many since his birth.

Life is just depressing for him,he has even given up on sports,(he played for a disabled footy team and cricket team now he just say no.

so yes it frightens me,that he isnt happy,this is not a life for a 29years.

Expert:  AgapeDoc replied 6 years ago.
It seems that Dr.G. has had to step away. Let me see if I can help out here.....
First of all, I am sorry that you find yourself in this challenging situation and I'm sorry that your son is struggling so.
Let me commend you on taking him to a doctor to make sure that this is not a physical problem.
Having said that, let me give you some answers to address the situation and move to a solution.
It seems that you are wishing that he had more interaction with people and I think that is a good thing to wish for. Let me just offer this...... Don't expect him to get back involved with the sports full time right away. What has worked for my other clients is to get them to connect with one or two individuals and it naturally grows from that.
Your job is to find some friends his age that share some (any) common interest. Make it comfortable for all and things will grow from there.
I hope I have been helpful. If you wish you continue the discussion, just reply to what I have said. If you are satisfied please don't forget to click on the green accept button.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

he has friends from the footy club,who he also works with and they have asked him out

like to good to see a sports activity or car races,etc guy things and he says No.

He went away for a week with a disabled travel group to qld he made friends but he didnt exchange phone nunber or emails address when asked why i dont know what to them,he even met a nice girl,they text but he doesnt want to see her she live to far away i have offered to take him and he said no.

He has girl friend who live not far away but he now doenst want to seee her or talki to her and he get upset when she rings him.

it is good to have someone to talk to about this.

Expert:  AgapeDoc replied 6 years ago.
I see. Remember, it's acceptable and good to make progress in small steps. Don't pressure him or yourself to solve everything immediately. If he took a trip for a week, this is great! Don't minimize that. If he is more comfortable at home, have one or two friends over... but just for a short period of time- don't make a big deal about it. Just make it fun.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

he wont do that he is just in his own world.

I tried lots of thing nothing works.he just want to watch tv,video-porn or play computor games,

I think he need a male roll model,to talk to about blookies can only tell your mum so much.

it worries that his life isnt happy and he want out.

it been hard for both of us all his life,but i wont give up on him.he need a life.

Expert:  AgapeDoc replied 6 years ago.
As I mentioned, I commend you on all you efforts and not giving up on him. I agree he needs a male role model. I hope you are able to find him one, even if it has to start out slow aa I mentioned previously.
I would love to continue but I must step away for now. I hope I have helped in some small way and I wish you success. Let me know if you want to discuss more at a later date.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
i would like to continue with you at a latter date.
Expert:  AgapeDoc replied 6 years ago.
OK... I have reviewed our discussion as well as your original question. You mentioned that he doesn't want to see a psychologist in spite of a plan you have set up for him. I'm afraid that if he doesn't want to see a psychologist, you really can't make him :( That is unless he is threatening to hurt himself or someone else of course.
It seems that he has enjoyed socializing previously and I think he can find the joy in that again - it seems like that is what you are seeking for him (to be happy and enjoy his friends).
I would suggest that the best way to achieve this is to make it something that he wants to do - I understand that he has resisted your efforts up to this point so I know it won't be easy - but I still contend that it is possible even if it takes a fair amount of effort :)
In my experience in working with similar situations, it's important to remember that it's OK to take small steps and it's also very important to remember that ANY step in the right direction is a very GOOD thing indeed. There is a one particular counseling philosophy that I really like. That is solution focused counseling. Research shows that small successes lead to more and bigger successes when there is a plan in place with clear goals being pursued.
Having said all this, I would just caution you to remember, that even though he is disabled and you are surely acting in his interest (not just your interest) HE is still an adult and HE will have to determine what he wants for HIMSELF. If her perceives or feels that you are trying coerce the situation, you will get the opposite of what you are seeking for him. Ultimately it is up to HIM. But if you set up things for success, I have every reason to believe that things will work out best for both you and him.
I hope I have been helpful.
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience: Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
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