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I'm bipolar + i seem to be an alcoholic I have really messed

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up my life and since...
i'm bipolar + i seem to be an alcoholic I have really messed up my life and since may 27 when I started liquor again I've received my third impaired. I never thought this would happen, because I stopped drinking. Without anybodies help, I did it for my family. Since May 27th 2011, after I fell off the wagon i guess you would call it, i've been trying to get help. Then it happened, in just a few months, I got behind the wheel, and I don't remeber. I understand my relationship between alcohol and bi-polar. But I don't understand why I got behind the wheel. I know there was a lot of stress in my life, and I never should of done it. But I remeber doing it, but now I'm at a loss, because I dont know how to fix myself. And I cannot stop feeling the pain I feel in my stomach, my chest, everywhere! The same day I got in a crash, and arrested for impaired driving, I over dosed on my medication. My doctors don't trust me anymore, they don't want me to leave town. I just need help, I need to fix my problem, like I fixed it before. ...Though this time I don't know if i can.. If you could answer back that'd be great. Im scared. :/
Michelle
Submitted: 6 years ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 3 minutes by:
8/1/2011
Mental Health Professional: Brad The Therapist, LCPC replied 6 years ago
Brad The Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 550
Experience: 10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
Verified
Brad The Therapist :

Thank you for your question. Before providing recommendations, I have a few questions. Where are you now, at this moment? Are you living on your own, in a treatment center? What do you do for work? What type of meaningful relationships do you have in your life?

Brad The Therapist :

Also, what motivated you previously when you decided to become sober?

Brad The Therapist :

How long have you been sober, thus far?

Customer:

At home ; with my family. Can't work any more, I think my family, three day agian, just starting.

Brad The Therapist :

Great! This is a good start! Please tell me more about your current symptoms. When did they first start?

Customer:

My family and the way I felt about myself made me stop driniking.....

Brad The Therapist :

What happened when your sobriety ended in May?

Customer:

a sadness that I could not handle anymore how people talked to me. always reminding what I did, I just couldn't get away from things. I seemed to be crying all the time can't leave my house becouse i hate me.

Brad The Therapist :

When did you first hate yourself?

Brad The Therapist :

Hi are you still there?

Customer:

I don't think i ever liked myself, but i could handle thing if i wasn't told how messed up i always was, even when my Doctors hade hope i was alway reminded that I was poping to many pills so I stopped. went to every Doctor I Know And 1 I don't trying to find help I knew i was going down fast. Now I did. and i really don't have many choices left i'm not doing this again....

Brad The Therapist :

Please tell me about your accomplishments, thus far? Do you have children?

Customer:

two very beautiful girls ones getting married next year and ones 15 and graduationg in 3 years

Brad The Therapist :

Great! You raised/raising two daughters. When did your self-hatred first began?

Customer:

around 2003

Brad The Therapist :

What happened in 2003?

Customer:

nothing really, everything like our store my respect i was taken away from me, at that point after everything i did for them i was done

Customer:

I never even got paid

Brad The Therapist :

I'm sorry, I'm confused about your response. Your store was taken away from you? Was this a job or something you ran?

Customer:

No my parents inLaws and husband owed it but i took care of it for 10 years

Brad The Therapist :

I see and they took away the store from you. Why was that?

Customer:

Becouse of the bipolar and my sister in law who left her husband and i was not able to be 14 hours a day anymore

Brad The Therapist :

When did your bipolar symptoms first began?

Customer:

I thought after Natasha was born 26

Customer:

, but they said all kinds of thing

Brad The Therapist :

What is your relationship to you husband like/

Customer:

In the year 2000 it really got so bad that I knew they were wrong and by 2001 I had started liquor. I did try but i also know this is my resonsibility, but it's not Natashas she needs a good life not like mine. she is the last one left if I can't do it like the other ones she needs to be away from at least til I remember who I was.

Brad The Therapist :

How would you describe yourself at this point? What do you hope for the future?

Customer:

I love my husband, DON'T trus't him after Christeana my first, remember you don't take because she won't so I don't know. I have tried . I don"t trust anyone Natasha, if she is in my bed she is on my side. I nwon't lose her trust becouse just like Christeana I have to protect them. I've live a good part of my life. MY KIDS WILL BE SAFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Customer:

]That maid no sence

Brad The Therapist :

You now have a motivation so that your kids will be safe!

Customer:

where

Brad The Therapist :

You will be keeping them safe.

Customer:

Im nut a goob mother yet I fell off the whatever .....have to go home calll tomm mm

Brad The Therapist :

At this point, how can I help you?

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Brad The Therapist
Brad The Therapist
Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 550
550 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 10 years of experience in working with youth and adults

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I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

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