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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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I am hoping you can give me some guidance regarding how to

Customer Question

I am hoping you can give me some guidance regarding how to help my 43 yr old son who was diagnosed as bipolar in his mid to late 20s. he was on meds for a while but to my knowledge doesn't take anything now. He lost his job of 9 months last week which took him about 8 months to acquire after leaving his previous job. Because he hadn't done his taxes he did not try to get any EI. He lives in Toronto with his wife who is an RMT and child who is almost 2.
My husband and I are in our mid 60's and have come to his rescue several times and are very concerned that he is expecting us to continue to do this. he and his wife are extremely ddifficult to dicuss things with. We have been waling on egg shells with him for years trying not to upset him. Everything we say he takes as criticism and he gets angry, defensive and starts yelling.
What can we do to help him get the medical treatment he so desperately needs?
Thanky you.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

This really is a shame. Many people who are bipolar do not want or think they need treatment. this is quite common. Patients are especially resistant when they are manic - people often don't mind being manic but hate being depressed. He may fall in this category. They don't want to hear about their problems once manic. He unfortunately is no different. You have no avenue however because he is an adult. He has the right to refuse treatment. I don't want you to feel hopeless but you can't do anything if the patient is an adult unless he is suicidal or homicidal. You can have boundaries that dictate your relationship. Don't give help if this is the only relationship. If you cushion his fall he may never get help. You have to send the message that you are not a meal ticket. Bipolar doesn't ensure bad decision making but you are helping to say that he always has a way out. Just try to figure out a way to not encourage anything but total independence

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
We understand your response. Could you supply us with a list of resources that we could recommend to him on the off chance that he's willing to listen.
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I don't want to upset you but I am not only not in Canada I am on the East Coast. I am not familiar with resources there. You can do an online search and that is how almost all programs advertise now. It is the best solution to find any treatment. Even private practices advertise this way. Also if wanting a psychiatrist you can call the Board that licenses such professionals there.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Well I don't feel like you have been very helpful with either of your responses. I didn't expect to have a step by step guide as to what we could do but as you can imagine I am very disappointed. I don't feel that it was worth paying a fee for. If you had indicated that you were in the US and not in Canada and therefore couldn't recommend agencies or organizations for me to turn to I would not have had the expectation that you would be able to give me some guidance and I would not have contacted you.