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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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In hindsight i think i was a very controlling mother and to

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In hindsight i think i was a very controlling mother and to a lesser degree am still so. the result of this is that my son who is now 29 has a difficult life. He seems to deliberately sabbotage himself any chance he gets. He drinks a lot, seems to have a lot of anger and very few friends. He has very little respect for and in some cases an outright disregard for any kind of authority. he had a bad relationship with a finace who was very controlling and manipulative, since the breakup he seems to be heading down a path of emotional self destruction and I am concerned that he is going to end up in jail. It has been suggested to him by a good friend that he needs to seek help, i have also suggested it but as i think most of his problems were caused by me i don't want to make it worse, but don;t know what to do. I know it is his life and that he needs to mkake his own decision but I donly think I have equipped him with the skills to do so.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 6 years ago.
Hi there,
Thank you for writing in JA.
I am sorry to hear about your 29 year-old son's situation.
It sounds like he may have mild depression and/or self-esteem issue as he exhibits self-destructive behavior, excess use of drinking, anger issues, having a few friends and defiant behavior towards authority figures.
You feel responsible to his emotional problems.
I am not sure if your parenting has caused anger and depression in him.
However, if you feel he may have unresolved emotional issues with you or your relationship with him in the past, family therapy between you and him may be an option.
Of course, he may also benefit from attending individual therapy to explore, vent, express, and process his big feelings about self, others, you/his parents/family etc., and resolve his emotional issues, which in turn may reduce the intensity of his depression and improve his self-esteem.
Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,
Dr. Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I agree with what you are saying about therapy but how do i get him to agree to this when he believes that the problems are veryone elses and I mean everyone elses including his divorce attorney, the whole legal system, the company he works for, his ex, her family, the government, his father, in fact the only person he doesn't verbally blame is me and i wonder if that is because i am the only person who has stood by him and if he feels that I might abandon him if he does critisice me.
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 6 years ago.
Hi there,
I understand that he may not want to express any negative feelings for you in family therapy.
Do you think he may be open to individual therapy?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Depending on his mood, sometimes he says he will then has a multitude of reasons why he can't go and at other times point blank refuses to accept that he has a problem or belittles the abilityof a therapist to do anything

Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 6 years ago.
Hi there,
Thank you for your reply.
It sounds like your son may be emotionally struggling.
He tends to externalize his problems to others except you.
Perhaps, he may have difficulty trusting anyone.
Is he open to counseling online?
There are websites that provide professional counseling to people with depression.
In Australia, Dr. Andrews has developed the online treatment for people with depression.
Here is the information link:
The online clinic are as follows:
Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,