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mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience:  Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
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My daughter-in -law is taking control of my grandson (she

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My daughter-in -law is taking control of my grandson (she is not the biological mother) while my son is in boot camp. We were suppose to take my grandson to the graduation but my son had some bronchitis and asthma episodes down there and we won't be going. She keeps on marking the days on the calendar until my grandson would have been going and not letting him know there's a change of plans. He mother is somewhat intimidated by the step mother. Should my grandson be told now, by his mother, that we won't be going and his Daddy will be coming home soon?

Good afternoon and thank you for the opportunity to help in answering your question. Based on the information that you've kindly provided my impression is such that your grandson definitely needs to be told that he would not be attending the graduation. The longer it's delayed the harder it will be for him when he's finally told that he's not going. Furthermore, the fact that his step mother is counting down the days is absurd. This is only going to hurt him further because with each day that is crossed off his excitement about the trip grows even stronger. This is actually doing harm to him and just messing with the poor boy's head.


My suggestion would be for you to contact his father and biological mother to inform them both what the step mother is doing and....if at all possible have them both be on the call with your grandson...both parents that way he can be consoled by his mother if he grown upset. I would also strongly recommend that he understands why the trip is not going to happen so that he understands that is through no fault of his own as children have a tendency to blame themselves in situations such as these.


I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX I have been helpful in answering your question and that you found my suggestions to be of benefit to you and your family.



Please let me know if you have any further questions that I can help in answering for you. I want to be certain that I have answered your question completely and thoroughly.

If you feel that I've answered your question to your satisfaction then I would greatly appreciate your clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for the answer and suggestions I've provided to you. I hope this finds you well and look forward to your response.



Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I am so upset and failed to mention that he is 5 1/2 years old and very smart. His mom and my son have joint custody and get along very well. Being in boot camp my son can't make calls, even though they will be discharging him from there. I will show him mom this. She is a good mom and will be making the final decision. Thank you

I can certainly appreciate why you would be upset and I'm really sorry to hear that this is occurring. I think if you show his mother this it will help her make the best decision for him.


Please let me know if you have any further question. If I've answered your question to your satisfaction I would appreciate your clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for the answer and suggestions I've provided. Thank you for the chance to help.



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