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mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience:  Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
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I have been living apart from my exhusband of 28years for two years. He is a narcissist wi

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I have been living apart from my exhusband of 28years for two years. He is a narcissist with borderline personality disorder. My 9 year old can't stand him. Even living seperately, I am still a victim of his emotional abuse and now he is doing it to my daughter. I can't move away to be with my family because of the laws, and am totally alone except my daughter. He has devastated me financially and I can't find anyone to listen. He is always causing drama and it is always blamed on me.

Good evening and thank you for the opportunity to help in answering your question. First please allow me to say that I am sincerely XXXXX XXXXX hear of the difficulty you're confronted with.


Based on the information You've kindly provided it actually sounds as though your daughter is being traumatized by your ex husband's actions and behaviors. I do have a couple of suggestions. The first would be to consider having her see a therapist to help her manage and cope better. Though I would agree with you that distance would likely be the best thing for you and your children given his erratic and abusive behaviors.


I would also suggest that you have your daughter evaluated by a psychologist, specifically a child psychiatrist that is familiar with the family courts and the processes therein. My impression is that your daughter will likely be diagnosed with at least Sub-Threshold PTSD which is just below full PTSD diagnosis. With the psychologists report and recommendations this can be submitted to the court system with the recommendation of distance being required in order for your daughter to not be further traumatized.


This approach should be found to be beneficial in your court case and in you gaining more rights regarding the ability to move further away from him and his abusive tendencies.


I hope this helps to answer your question and that you have found my suggestions to be of benefit to you.



Please let me know if you have any further questions that I can help in answering for you. I want to be certain that I have answered your question completely and thoroughly.

If you feel that I've answered your question to your satisfaction then I would greatly appreciate your clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for the answer and suggestions I've provided to you. I hope this finds you well and look forward to your response.


Customer: replied 6 years ago.
What is PTSD?

I'm very sorry. It's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and presents following many forms of abuse which would include verbal and emotional. Typically it presents itself in feeling irritable or easily agitated, feeling startled when a voice is raised or someone touching her for fear of being hit. In addition PTSD is often presented with nightmares of the abuse. If it's left untreated then it can certainly worsen which is why I suggested that your daughter see a therapist given that it's still an early onset. In all honesty I would suggest the same for you as you've likely been traumatized from having endured the abuse for all those years as well.


Here is a link for a workbook for PTSD which includes exercises to help begin working through the trauma as well as detailed descriptions for you to have a better understanding of it.



Please let me know if you have any further questions and be sure to ask them before clicking the ACCEPT button as I want to make certain that you are satisfied with the answer and suggestions offered.



mindhealer and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

I'm terribly sorry I forgot to include the link to the book. Here you are