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Ive found that all my past gfs have lacked a father figure

in their lives. Their fathers...
Ive found that all my past gfs have lacked a father figure in their lives. Their fathers have all either moved on(in their younger lives) or died or were just never in their lives. How can break this? They seem to all get married or have serious relationships and then get married/engaged after me...Are they ready for marriage and im not....or is this some weird thing that im doing and preparing these girls for life at my emotional expense? I understand we all have our own problems. I feel like a emotional trainer sometimes, this sounds so arrogant and I'm sorry I dont mean it to be...but come on where are all the mature women at?? Ive heard im to nice that im the good guy...its crap i feel like its a excuse to drop me and move on and have the next guy treat them like crap? So they can have a feeling of i can fix this guy i can turn him good? Really are some women that dense? Or am i just a ass. Some people can change i get that to. Im only myself that is all i have. Change me for the b
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Answered in 9 minutes by:
7/12/2011
AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience: Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
Verified
AgapeDoc :

Thanks for the opportunity to serve....

AgapeDoc :

You're not alone!

AgapeDoc :

I don't know if that makes you feel any better or not, but it's not uncommon for me to deal with people who question why they always seem to end up with the same kind of girlfriend or boyfriend.

AgapeDoc :

I'm sure that you are aware of women who always seem to end up in an abusive relationship. Well, that's the one that people usually hear about, but the same can be true for other situations such as you are dealing with.

AgapeDoc :

I imagine that you find it interesting or even fascinating that you have no conscious idea of how these women will behave until you get into a relationship. ANYWAY........

AgapeDoc :

There are reasons that go beyond the scope of this forum except to say that most experts agree that people in your position are exhibiting behaviors that are attracting these kind of women as well as behaviors that bring out these things in the women you are dating.

AgapeDoc :

I'm not blaming you - that would be what we call re-victimizing you - and believe me that's not what this is about. In fact.....

AgapeDoc :

The good news is this......

AgapeDoc :

Since you are (in all likelihood) exhibiting behaviors that draw these women to you - you can change :) This is good news for you!

AgapeDoc :

However, you will need to enlist the help of a relationship therapist. I'm not suggesting there is something wrong with you, you just need to be made aware of which behaviors you might be exhibiting that are not getting you the women you want to get to know.

Customer:

So i seek this women out without myself realizing it ?

AgapeDoc :

Yes - it's not uncommon at all. The good news is that you are aware that you are not attracting the kind of woman that you want and YOU SEE the PATTERN that you want to change - you have taken the first step here - you now just need to follow up :)

Customer:

Well i guess thats one good thing. It is a step in the right direction i suppose.

AgapeDoc :

Yes it is - and I can't overstate how fortunate you are. I have many clients who continue a pattern and I can't get them to realize that they have the power to make things change.

Customer:

Ok so is their some study? A book? Something that lets me know what im doing exactly that attracts them? its not that easy is it? I honestly feel more connected to older women who normally obviously have more life exp. With the exceptions as some younger ones are not immature.

Customer:

Hmm prob your previous statement on a relationship therapist...prob would not hurt. As it seems im in the mental health area.

AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience: Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
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AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
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Experience: Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.

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