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My husband of 18 years has been lying to me. When I first

found out it was a...
My husband of 18 years has been lying to me. When I first found out it was a lie about large sums of money. I moved out, we went to therapy, he made promises and until today I thought he kept them. Today he lied to me about the dumbest thing. He says he has no idea why he does it. I can't trust him anymore. What can I do?
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Answered in 14 minutes by:
7/11/2011
mindhealer
mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience: Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
Verified

Good evening and thank you for the opportunity to help in answering your question. First please allow me to say that I am truly sorry to hear of the difficulty you're going through right now. Based on the information that you've kindly provided it sounds as though your husband is presenting with one of two behaviors. Either he is a habitual liar in which case he cannot help himself and this would present in his lying about many different things and not just about the large sums of money that you mentioned in your original question.

The second possibility is that he is hiding behind the notion that he is a habitual liar in order to either justify or rationalize his behavior...neither of which are really excusable and my impression is that you may very well find them to be insulting.

Regardless of which of the above his behavior and lies are driven by my suggestion to you would be to consider seeing a therapist in help you work toward what is the healthiest decision for your life at present.

I can sincerely ***** ***** you can't trust him anymore and in all honesty it would take a significant amount of work in order for him to regain your trust. Ordinarily I would suggest seeing a marital therapy to help you to work toward resolving your problems and to communicate better. Having said that, given that you've already gone through marital therapy and it worked for a while but his lies resumed is the reason I'm not suggesting this immediately.

As I mentioned earlier I suggested you seeing a therapist individually...another reason I suggested this is to determine what it is you want from your marriage and if you feel you are at a place right now if you are able to work on the marriage or if you need time for yourself to work out what you want.

I sincerely ***** ***** I have been helpful in answering your question and that you found my suggestions to be of benefit.

Please let me know if you have any further questions that I can help in answering for you. I want to be certain that I have answered your question completely and thoroughly.

If you feel that I've answered your question to your satisfaction then I would greatly appreciate your clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for the answer and suggestions I've provided to you. I hope this finds you well and look forward to your response.

mindhealer
mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience: Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
Verified
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mindhealer
mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
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Experience: Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience

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