Mental Health

Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Mental Health
This answer was rated:

Today's show is an answer to my prayers, because this is

going on in my life...
Today's show is an answer to my prayers, because this is going on in my life right now.
My husband is out of the house currently, because we have a toxic environment, and we have a 15 year old son. What I worry about is how much does he know and how do we tell him so that he can come out of this with good mental health?
We have been married for 30 years, at 20 years my husband told me he had been introduced to sex by his brother (5 yrs older) at the age of 9. I'm so lost and confused, every time I go to therapy I feel they are leading to divorce. I loved our family and would have don't anything to help my husband. I feel like an enabler. This has to stop for the welfare of our son and I will do anything that is good for him.
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 1 hour by:
7/11/2011
AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience: Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
Verified
AgapeDoc :

Thanks for contacting Just Answer - I appreciate the opportunity to serve...

AgapeDoc :

Wow! You are certainly dealing with an enormous amount of "stuff" - and the sheer amount would be enough, but not only is it a lot - it is significant!

AgapeDoc :

Well, I can tell you from my experience that while some things don't need to be shared with everyone - secrets, lies, and "white elephants" are NEVER good.

AgapeDoc :

Furthermore... kids would rather be from a broken home than live in a dysfunctional home :(

AgapeDoc :

As I have alluded to, YOU are taking on much of this and the fact is YOU can't do it all. It is commendable to what to help your husband and if the opportunity arises you should support him. BUT it is up to HIM to get the help HE needs. In short.......

AgapeDoc :

YOU DIDN'T BREAK HIM AND YOU CAN'T FIX HIM!

AgapeDoc :

If you are living in a toxic environment, and there is little or no hope for change, it is up to you to end things and move on.

AgapeDoc :

I know this is hard to hear, and it won't be easy by any means! Unfortunately, I must tell you that there is no easy way out of this :( and boy is that an understatement! But the other alternative is even worse :(

AgapeDoc :

I suspect your son doesn't want to continue therapy because he was in the dark on what was going on - I don't blame him. He may want to revisit this once things start to move in the direction of healing.

AgapeDoc :

How am I doing? I imagine that you were hoping for something better. AND... I certainly wish that I could provide it to you - but we both know that answer is just not out there :(

Customer: Should I just keep my son in the dark, or should I confirm his suspension? Is it ok for him not to deal with his angrier right now?
AgapeDoc :

Great questions! I would not keep your son in the dark. Let him know that things are not right - you don't have to go into ALL the tough details, but let him know the general idea of how you all got to this place and what is being done to move forward.

AgapeDoc :

Think about a younger child dealing with some tough news. You would tell him, but you may hold back some details due to his developmental age. The same holds true here - even though he is 15 and can handle more, you can gauge how much he can handle.

AgapeDoc :

Tell him what's going on, how you all got here and what is being done to get you out of the tough situation. Tell him what you think is appropriate and do so conservatively saying that you will revisit this in a few days. This will do a couple of good things for him. 1) give him a sense of control which will be important for him as he may feel he is losing some control over his life right now. and 2) give him time to digest what you have told him - it will be important to not leave him with the impression that once you have told him a little bit that is it. Make it clear that it is a big issue and there will need to be ongoing conversations

AgapeDoc :

As far as him dealing with his anger.... he should be given the opportunity to deal with it now. Otherwise it will just fester. However, give him some leverage on HOW he will deal with it. Again, he will want to have some sense of feeling in control of his situation.

AgapeDoc :

My heart does go out to you.... all of you. This is by no means easy - in fact, I could not overstate the gravity of what you are dealing with. You are to be commended and don't give up on therapy as well as support groups for all of you.

AgapeDoc :

I hope I have helped. Please let me know...

Customer: Thank you, ***** ***** helped me a great deal. Sometimes we have a feeling about what is the right thing, I had that and just needed to be validated. I have respect for truth and honesty and just have accept it, I'll be happy to take my life back. I know I have done all I can, I'm ready to be moving on, it is the best way to go for myself and our son. Thank so much.
AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience: Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
Verified
AgapeDoc and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask AgapeDoc Your Own Question
AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
197 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.

AgapeDoc is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

3,984 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
I'm concerned that fighting an screaming at a neighbouring
Hi. I'm concerned that fighting an screaming at a neighbouring Public Housing which mostly has drug addicts and prostitutes may have adverse effects on children at our apartment complex who will doubt… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
My wife got a WE-VIBE, used for couples to use while
my wife got a WE-VIBE, vibrator used for couples to use while intercourse..I saw a cord in her drawer, so I looked. She never told me she got it. she said she won a raffle at a lingerie store, and did… read more
Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi
Doctoral Degree
1,564 satisfied customers
Ii stopped lexapro nearly 3 months ago and 1 month ago
ii stopped lexapro nearly 3 months ago and 1 month ago started feeling anxious badly so I started back on lexapro for 5 days and scared of libido and i went on Zoloft,it's been 2 weeks I started from 25 mg to 50 then 100 but still too much anxiety. … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
My 15 year old son has been diagnosed with Asperger's,
My 15 year old son has been diagnosed with Asperger's, diagnosed at 5 years old, has treated with therapy and diet and medications. Currently his major issue is anxiety, mainly around social situation… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
I don't always feel like a real person. I have
Hi, I don't always feel like a real person. JA: How is your mood? Are you experiencing regular sleep disturbances (e.g. trouble falling asleep, waking up early)? Customer: No JA: Anything else in your… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
What would you recommend to someone with a bad anxiety
Hi, what would you recommend to someone with a bad anxiety disorder, 25 years old, 134 lbs, who keeps worrying about fainting if he doens't... eat yet another meal? Driving and walking has become hard… read more
Nancy
Nancy
Psychotherapist
MS, PhD can.
492 satisfied customers
How can I develop the necessary discipline to focus on
How can I develop the necessary discipline to focus on important things and ignore temptations that waste my time?I am self employed, working in the software business. I have multiple projects to fini… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
My 14 year old son (9th grade)has been caught smoking pot on
My 14 year old son (9th grade)has been caught smoking pot on two separate occasions. We took him to a therapist who said that smoking pot should be a non-negotiable requirement in out home. When we to… read more
Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
2,336 satisfied customers
Waking up early, i have a question regarding increase hear
waking up early, i have a question regarding increase hear bits … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
I need to tAKE MY ZANAX BUT TOOK AN ALLEVE BEFORE HOW DO I
I need to tAKE MY ZANAX BUT TOOK AN ALLEVE BEFORE HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
Im currently on disability right now. My ssdi was approved
Im currently on disability right now. My ssdi was approved about 1 year ago after i wasnt able to return to the fire department. The problem is that i dont want to go back to work. But my doctor keeps… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
I was wondering if there's like a resort with a mental
Hi! I was wondering if there's like a resort with a mental health care system where everything you regarding mental health is taken care off. For example get tested for any mental disorders, talk with… read more
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
Therapist
Master's Degree
3,984 satisfied customers
I don't know if this will be possible to handle online, but
I don't know if this will be possible to handle online, but I really need help with my behavioral health, before I destroy my relationship. … read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
Im feeling extremely depress i cry all the time dont want to
Hi Im feeling extremely depress i cry all the time dont want to be in the company of poeple just want to be alone .I have suicidal thoughts all the time and not eating its getting worse every day dont… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
I am looking for a doctor near my home that has experience
I am looking for a doctor near my home that has experience with patients in need of Ritalin. I have been on it in the past and feel I need to get back on it. … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
We found out today that my wife has breast cancer. How do I
We found out today that my wife has breast cancer. How do I learn what are the most important things for me to do to support her. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
Need details on how to titrate off (if need be) from Viibryd
Need details on how to titrate off (if need be) from Viibryd and then start Effexor. … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
My husband and I are in our mid 50's and recently bought a
My husband and I are in our mid 50's and recently bought a RV and will be roaming the US for the next year. I see a psychiatrist every 3 months for treatment for pain & depression (cymbalta) and ambie… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x