How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask mindhealer Your Own Question
mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience:  Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
mindhealer is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

why cant I let go of a bad relationship and move on. Why do

Resolved Question:

why can't I let go of a bad relationship and move on. Why do I still let him be in control. I caught him cheating afterward I realize he has been cheating the intire 23 years we been together and he never would marry me, he is still seeing the woman I caught him with and he moved out got his own place and everyweek or so he calls want to know if I need money get my yard cut or ask to spend the night every blue moon and don't. I listen to his lies and almost believe them he tries to make me feel it is my fault for finding out and bitching about what happen. This has gone on for almost three years. He even ask to move back in still seeing other women and no commitment. He has had his appartment for a year and a half and I am not allowed to visit. Why am I depressed and can not move on what is wrong with me
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  mindhealer replied 6 years ago.
Good afternoon and thank you for the opportunity to help in answering your question. First please allow me to say that I am truly sorry to hear of the difficulty you're experiencing.

Based on the information you've kindly provided it seems evident that the reason you can't move on is due in part by letting him stay in your life. Oftentimes we have trouble letting go of a relationship, even a bad one because we grow familiar and comfortable and the thought of starting over with someone new is frightening. The fact that he still gets to you certainly shows unresolved issues. You were hurt terribly by this man and in all honesty the only way to truly work towards letting go is to not allow his calls to come through, sever contact with him and to strongly consider seeing a therapist to help you through this difficult transition in your life. Please forgive me if I was too blunt but I really felt you needed to hear it this way in order to develop a plan to move on with your life. You deserve to be treated with respect and be with someone who wants only you and can recognize how good his life is with you.

I truly hope that you've found my answer to be helpful and my suggestions to be of benefit.

Please let me know if you have any further questions as I want to ensure your question is completely and thoroughly answered.

If you feel I've answered your question to your satisfaction I would sincerely XXXXX XXXXX clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for the answer. I hope this finds you well and look forward to your response.
mindhealer and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you