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I have been to numerous psychologists, counselors, and

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psychiatrists, and nobody seems to...
I have been to numerous psychologists, counselors, and psychiatrists, and nobody seems to be able to help me. I don't have much of a selection at the moment, anyway.
My problem is I believe I suffer from depression and anxiety. I've tried taking medication, but in all honesty, I don't notice the slightest difference in my mood or behavior on any of the types I've tried. It seems more like people normally recieve a placebo effect, instead of anything actually happening. So medication is out, and I need help in my behavior and mindset.
To begin with, I have absolutely no self-control, and no motivation. I'm lazy and mildly overweight as a result. I procrastinate so much, I get really bad anxiety just thinking about the idea of having to do something. I've tried to lose weight, and I can go a few weeks with changes in my diet and with my activity levels. But then, really suddenly, I become incredibly depressed and hopeless, losing the tiny bit of whatever motivation I had, and go back to previous behavior. So the next time I try, I try going slower and making smaller changes. Recently, I've tried simply taking unnecessary sugars out of my diet, because I developed a sugar addiction in the past few months. That failed. I tried to do moderate exercise, dance dance revolution, and it's going okay. My motivation for that is to become very skilled at it, so it seems to be holding up. But even then, I'm not at the level of activity I was hoping for.
I do not have a social life. I've tried making friends, and have been successful. But I can't keep them. I become overwhelmed, and I shut myself away from everyone and pretend they don't exist. I don't know why, but I just get so stressed and worried and I feel so drained that I can't stand being around people too much. I just want to hide in my room, with my computer, and indulge in an unhealthy amount of escapism. All day long I sit on my computer, reading comic books, novels, or watching movies, and TV shows. Sometimes I lay in bed all day, living a different life in my mind. And I try to stop, but I feel overwhelmed by the real world, and I becomed stressed and everything, so I can't. I was told by a school counselor before, that since humans are social animals, being around other people should make me happier. It doesn't. It's stressful and unpleasant. I don't like most people, and as unhealthy as it is, I do feel happier living in my own little world. I don't know what to do about that. I want to be able to enjoy real life, but every time I've tried and put effort into creating a life for myself, it's unpleasant and very stressful. Sometimes I don't care that this isn't healthy, simply because at least I'm happy.
I've never been suicidal, but when I think about the idea of having responsibilities, a career, etc, I feel like simply not existing would be a more preferred option, because I don't think the amount of positive things in my life are worth the amount of negative things in my life. I'm not even a pessimist. I always go into things thinking the best and being hopeful, and I have always imagined that, in a year from the present, I will be happy and have a nice social life, and the ability to cope with stress. I don't seem to be able to cope with ANY stress. I have a part time job, and I always get anxiety just thinking about having to go into work. I only work two days about, for 4-5 hours a shift, and I freak out about that? I don't even know why. I mean, the job isn't terrible. Just really boring and uncomfortable since I have to stand the entire time. I know I'm really afraid of being bored or uncomfortable in general. And I don't know why. I fixate on how I feel whenever I'm not content and I just get really really anxious for it to end.
I haven't even graduated high school yet. I'm 18, and I was supposed to graduate a year ago, but I couldn't. I do an online school, and I'll try to set up some sort of a schedule to get work done, but I can't keep it up for more than a week or two. And then I get really really anxious most of the time with just the idea of having to do work. So it's quite slow going, because motivation for doing work doesn't pop up all that frequently. I know I need to graduate, because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I couldn't even handle that. But I just think "well, all that means is I get to go to university, which is worse than highschool. And then I have to have a career, which will most likely dictate the majority of my life". And then I get worried about what career I should take because I'm afraid of ruining the rest of my life by choosing something I don't enjoy. There are plenty of things I like, but the idea of having any of those interests as a basis of a career sounds terrible.
I don't know what else to say. And I don't know what to do. Nothing I've been told by anyone has helped so far. Plus most of them didn't care and just wanted the money they earned from "helping". I'm going to ruin my life.
Submitted: 6 years ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 29 minutes by:
7/8/2011
Mental Health Professional: AgapeDoc, Psychologist replied 6 years ago
AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience: Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
Verified
AgapeDoc :

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to serve....

Customer:

Hello.

AgapeDoc :

Good morning - let's see if I can help you out here....

Customer:

Good morning, and thank you.

AgapeDoc :

OK.... I am sorry that you are dealing with so much in your life...

Customer:

Thank you. I wouldn't say I'm dealing with much. I pretty much avoid everything. I do appreciate you being willing to help me.

AgapeDoc :

Moreover, I am sorry that those that you have reached out to have not been able to help.... I have read your post a couple of times and I have some thoughts that I will share, but in the meantime please start thinking about a specific question that I can answer for you.

Customer:

I guess, what do you think could be wrong with me?

AgapeDoc :

I think you clarified that well.... You aren't dealing with too much - you are avoiding things - and that is what you are focusing on here. Which leads me to mention some of my thoughts......

AgapeDoc :

I thought you might say something like ("what do you think could be wrong with me") for your question as you did. I'll get to your question by sharing my thoughts on your post...

Customer:

Okay.

AgapeDoc :

I don't mean to minimize your situation and there are some things that need to change for you. However one of the things that came to my mind as I read your original post was that you are focusing on the things that are not going well. As I read what you are up against and how things are going, I can tell you that I have dealt with many young adults who have many more issues and deeper issues who don't see the problem at all...

AgapeDoc :

When I say focusing, that's what I mean... in other words you do mention some things that are prosocial (such as having a job, taking online classes..) but you elected to focus on the negative aspect of those activities (such as I should have graduated already, I ONLY work part time...)

AgapeDoc :

The fact is many others in your shoes would have just given up completely on school, wouldn't be working, and etc.

Customer:

Just for clarification, I work part time purposely, because anything more would be so stressful for me I'd probably just up and quit, which would just make things worse.

AgapeDoc :

Again, I'm not saying that there is no room for improvement and I'm not forgetting about your emotions (the depression you mentioned).

Customer:

I understand.

AgapeDoc :

Once again in reference to your most recent post... look how you framed it.......... The fact is that you are aware enough to take on no more than you can handle - this is a good trait. Now the key is to grow emotionally so you can take on more responsibility while feeling more comfortable about it.

Customer:

I feel like a child in that I can't seem to handle anything other than very minimal amounts of responsibility. I feel like I have little to no coping mechanisms for the stress associated with responsibilities. I don't know how to help it.

AgapeDoc :

So.... I don't think there is anything significantly "wrong" with you. Do you need some help? Absolutely! But I suspect that this is not nearly as severe as the picture you have painted in your mind.

Customer:

I only think of it as severe because I've been unsuccessful in moving further in life, and it really hinders my quality of life as compared to what I imagine it could be. But, if it isn't as severe as it seems, I'm hoping that means it won't be incredibly difficult to deal with.

AgapeDoc :

Yes, as I mentioned you need some help - but (based on my experience) I believe you can make progress and get out of the hole that you seem to feel like you are in and I'm going to share with you how I have helped others...

Customer:

OKay.

AgapeDoc :

I understand (your last post)... believe me, we are on the same page here. If this were a counseling session I could make things clearer. AND yes, it won't be overwhelmingly difficult to deal with BUT................

AgapeDoc :

......It will take some concerted effort on your part - both pragmatically as well as emotionally and behaviorally!

AgapeDoc :

Here are the steps to take.......

AgapeDoc :

1) pick some literature on SOLUTION FOCUSED COUNSELING. There is no shortage of books on this for beginning counselors. When you start to get an idea of how solution focused counselors get trained to help people such as yourself, you will begin to see why I said what I said and this will be your first step to making improvements in your life :)

AgapeDoc :

2) Find a therapist that practices solution focuses counseling - either do an internet search for the counselor or for a mental health association in your area that can direct you do one. You should be able to find one without too much trouble - but if you can't... find a therapist that practices cognitive behavioral therapy (not a bad second choice).

Customer:

Unfortunately, I live in an isolated area, with a town population of around 1000, so 2 isn't something I'd be able to do. Part of the reason why I've resorted to the internet.

AgapeDoc :

3) Finally, start keeping a journal of the things in your life that are going well. You could start with the conversation that we are having here and how you have exhibited your strength by asking for help and guidance and how you initiated a plan to make improvements in your life! This journal can contain ONLY positive things.

AgapeDoc :

OK... as for number two.... I completely understand. However, don't completely give up - what I'm saying is..... don't make it your passion, but check around periodically and expand your search. Maybe it's possible to travel periodically? Maybe not - but the point is to keep the possibilities open - don't automatically shut down.

AgapeDoc :

And as a point of clarification - this is a question and answer site. I am a trained and experienced therapist, and my therapeutic nature comes out here - but I don't want to lead you to believe that this is really therapy. Good communication and good information and guidance? FOR SURE (gosh, I hope so [lol]).

AgapeDoc :

But not therapy here. Having said that, there are some therapists who practice online counseling - I would prefer that you see someone in person, but if you can find a solution focused therapist that works online that would be great :)

AgapeDoc :

In any event, I stand by #'s 1 and 3.

Customer:

It's unlikely I'd be able to travel, so do you know of any good online therapists or anything?

Customer:

Yeah, I thought #1 sounded interesting, and I'm fine with #3 for sure.

Customer:

And I'd like to point out, that you've been more helpful than anyone I've spoken to in person. It seemed to be all about asking questions rather than providing any advice or help most of the time with them. And I'm sure that's saying something, considering the fact that this is rather limited compared to them.

AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience: Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
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AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
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Experience: Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.

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