I think my daughter-in-law may be a sociopath. As a adult,

Dr. Michael, these children are my biological grandchildren. They are my son's children by a former marriage. Their mother had a huge drug relapse after the second child was born. Although my son was supportive of her rehab, even visiting her when she was in inpatient rehab, after her release she got involved with drugs again (unfortunately no surprise), had a relationship with her drug dealer, became addicted to heroin and pregnant with her dealer's child and left my son and the 2 little children (then 1 year old son and 3 year old daughter.) The natural mother didn't even have visitation until about 1-1/2 years ago.

My son and I are both rescuers, which is how he ended up with his current wife. She "loved children and lost them as a supposed result of "scheming on the part of the custodial grandparents and their wealth to buy legal assistance." She also supposedly "hated drugs due to the damage her mother's abuse caused in her life." I am bipolar and my son suffers from Major Clinical Depression although I am sure I also see bipolar behavior as well. He and I have both been successful, hardworking respected individuals. Until my very severe onset of depression, I worked successfully as a Personnel Rep in a major teaching hospital. My marriage had become abusive, my son was being damaged by the deteriorating relationship with my husband, my job became exceptionally high-pressure as hospitals were forced to cut costs by the Federal Govt. It was ALL too much and I got very sick. I recognize that there was depression in my family (probably maternal and paternal sides), and suspect the problems I experienced with marriage, job, and damage to son, precipitated it.

MY MAJOR CONCERN IS NOW. WHAT CONCERNS DO YOU HAVE FOR MY GRANDCHILDREN? I have concerns myself in that in the 6 weeks their natural mother had full custody they had significant exposure to her immoral lifestyle and to their cousins bad behavior with very limited discipline. Thankfully their mother has remained clean of drugs, but is still very promiscuous. We found their own behavior slipped considerably. It is as though "innocence has been lost forever." In addition, my granddaughter who didn't even want to visit her natural mother once visitation was restored, is now very anxious to please her and mimics her style of dress, etc.

In addition, I fear that my current daughter-in-law's poor standards are rubbing off on the children to some extent. She borrows and never pays back from anyone and everyone without any sense of guilt. She seems to have this attitude of "entitlement,"

not caring how her lack of financial responsibility affects other. She talks and dresses inappropriately and while she does not have custody of her children, now 21, 18, and 14, she does not know how to give constructive feedback to them re their immodest styles of dress and immoral lifestyles.

My son tells his children that "his 3 stepchildren are not his and he has not been allowed a say in their behavior and dress. However,his own children are his and he is responsible for their proper upbringing so they will never be allowed to dress and act as their step siblings. " WE REINFORCE THIS BY DISCUSSING THE BAD CONSEQUENCES THESE STEP SIBLINGS ARE EXPERIENCING DUE TO THEIR LIFESTYLES.

I know I have said a lot, but I wanted to give you as complete a picture as possible of the background of this situation so that you can share your thoughts with me. PLEASE DO.

Please

Thank you for your comments and reading suggestions. I may be in touch again. I would be happy to "accept answer" and pay again but I am on SS disability and have a very tight month to deal with.

Thank you again. Marilyn Valenti

Hi, Dr. Michael,

I just checked the email I received over the weekend and noticed that you were asking me to accept your answer since you were not paid until I do. I then went in to my banking account and checked and the payment is in process. As you know from our previous emails, I did accept your answer but did not press that button on the suscceeding emails back and forth because they all related to the one question. Hope you do get paid shortly. Sincerely, ***** *****