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Mark Manley
Mark Manley, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 402
Experience:  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Over 15 years exp. Married 30 years and happy.
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I had the same therapist for 13 years. I did not see her

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I had the same therapist for 13 years. I did not see her consistantly over that time, but on and off for all of those years. I moved to another state and recently emailed her to ask if she happened to know anyone in the area I live to whom she could refer me because I live in the city she used to live in. I have not seen her for three or four years. She apologized for not knowing anyone to refer me to and wished me well. I suddenly feel extremely sad that I am not her client any longer. She was a very helpful person in my life. Is it totally strange of me to still think of her as my therapist? I still have conversations in my head with her when I am trying to make meaning of things in a rough spot. Is it normal for my therapist to still live in my head even after all of these years? Luckily I like her there, in my head...but I think I will always be comparing a new therapist to her because of that. I find myself saying that I probably dont need a new therapist because I have one in my head already! If I get a new therapist, will I forever be stuck with two therapists in my head? I am not sure I could handle that...
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Mark Manley replied 6 years ago.

What do you want to accomplish by talking with a therapist? Could you possibly accomplish this via e-mail or telephone with your previous therapist? One of my clients likes to check in with me by phone occasionally. She has been doing this for years, and it works out fine. If your previous therapist is not open to this, there is nothing disadvantageous about finding a new therapist. Three heads are better than two! That's you, your previous therapist and a new therapist.

Thanks for your question.


Mark Manley

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.

This was my email to her;

I am wondering if you know a good worker/traveler/alchemist/storykeeper/person up here?

Just looking for a short term relationship with a person with good instinct and perspective in an effort to sort through a few things.


This was he response to my request for a referal:

I am sorry, I don't. Except a one who meets the criteria: you. I am sorry I can't be of further assistance. We should be able to beam us up or down. I hope all is well. Best Regards,

Does that seem like I can ask for further assistance?

I guess I can call and ask. I know that she has very few clients any longer. She mostly does supervision for other therapists.

Its a good idea though because yes, I do think she could be helpful and I wouldnt have to go through all of that finding a good therapist and establishing a working relationship thing.

As for three heads better than two...I think it depends on the heads dont you? I mean I can think of many istances of three heads being three times worse. Like if I came upon an alien or something. I would think a one headed one would better. Or a fire breathing dragon. One head=better. If I owned a circus though a three head cow or pig would kinda cool. Two therapist heads might be marvelous. It also could my worst nightmare...