It sounds like you care more about him and your relationship than he does about you, and your relationship. So unless you both care equally about working on the marriage, there is little to be done because 'it takes two' to make good relationship. You can certainly tell your husband that you STRONGLY believe he has a personality disorder and could be a much happier man, and have better relationships with others if he went into counseling to find out more about himself. However, because people with personality disorder symptoms such as his are highly defensive, tend to be unwilling to be introspective or won't engage in self-examination, AT BEST, ***** ***** he has a problem will produce no result except irritation at you; but at worse, he could become even more angry at you.
Now, if you have to stay together physically for a time until your house sells, you really MUST develop some specific thoughts you will repeat to yourself in order to emotionally survive his silent treatments, emotional stress
etc., that you will receive from him. The first thing you need to rehearse to yourself is something along the following lines: "I love him and want this to work out, but he doesn't want to change his behavior and doesn't care about this relationship as I do" Also, "I may want to fix this relationship, but he is unwilling, and it DOES take two people who are willing to change to fix it" "My husband has a serious personality disorder; he will alway have these sorts of relationship problems in his adult life; if he leaves me and finds someone else, the same result with that person will occur---because one cannot survive living with someone who is so thoroughly narcissistic". "Regardless of how this relationship works out, I absolutely must look out for my best interests right now----try to get myself prepared financially, physically, emotionally, to live independently of this man."
So you might want to create some self-statements like this and review them each day to give you the mental reminders you need about how you must think about this change in your marital relationship. You need to shift into self-preservation mode and focus on YOUR best interests, and pretty much devote all of your thinking, planning, attention etc., to building your personal earning power, figuring out who you can reach out to for emotional support and nurture those supportive relationships; talk to a family practice attorney about divorce rules and laws in your state so you are highly educated about your rights, etc. I'm suggesting that you get very busy looking out for yourself right now and if you do this, you won't have time to focus on what this man says or does. You will be preoccupied nearly all the time with your self-help activities and self-study, and increasingly, you'll be able to ignore his verbal abuse and criticism, and his 'silent treatments'. You may need to immediately think about taking a few extra classes to boost your career skills if you need to get a better-paying job; or complete a new vocational training program through evening classes, or through internet courses, etc. You may want to have a close, trusted relative help you save money in a savings account for you---money your husband can't touch, so you have some emergency funds if the marriage breaks down completely or you want to move somewhere, or pay an attorney. There are many, many active things you can and should be doing right now to look out for yourself. Doing all of this will do no harm in the event your husband wakes up one day with a completely new personality and your marriage becomes wonderful (this, of course, almost certainly will not happen). But my point is that none of what I'm suggesting you do right now to problem-solve and help yourself cope through these self-help and self-preservation activities will do you any harm, and they will absolutely be necessary if you divorce.
I hope this information is helpful to you. Please let me know if I have overlooked any aspect of your original question. Do keep me posted in the weeks or months ahead as your personal story unfolds, and if you want any additional support or ideas from me. Please click on the green Accept button at the bottom of the page. Thanks.