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mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience:  Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
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My 16 yr old son is at boarding school and is always in

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hello , my 16 yr old son is at boarding school and is always in trouble, he was bullied at prep school and has trouble making friends, it seems that he gets into trouble when he has problems with his peers, when we asked him about this he broke down into tears and said he has no friends, and everyone hates him, we asked if he wants to change schools, but he is in the middle of GCSE, he is also dyslexic, he said he really wanted to finish his design project.
Should we take him for professional counciling ?

Good afternoon and thank you for the opportunity to help in answering your question. First please allow me to say that I am truly sorry to hear of your son having such difficulty. Based on the information you've provided it sounds as though your son may be going through a depression. The reason that I bring the notion of a depression is because depression presents differently in adolescents than in adults. In adolescents they tend to have difficulty with expressing their emotions and at times even have difficulty recognizing what they are feelings.

The fact that he seems to be having trouble at school as well as potentially isolating thereby not having many friends and is also acting out when presented with problems with peers.

I would strongly reinforce your initial impression about seeking professional therapy for your son. Based on the fact that he broke down is indicative of his going through emotional pain and is asking for help. The good news is that he came to you when going through such difficulty. I would strongly recommend that you contact your health insurance provider or your son's doctor for a referral to a therapist who has experience in treating adolescents as it can be a finite approach. I would also dissuade you from having him see a therapist who may be affiliated with the school. The reason I urge against this is that news has a way of spreading around small campuses which would just contribute to his depression and worsen it.

Given the significance and severity of his symptoms I would suggest that you try to get him an appointment scheduled with a therapist soon as you can in order to get him engaged in therapy as soon as possible. I sincerely ***** ***** I have been helpful in answering your question. I apologize for the lengthy answer but I felt it would be important for you to be familiar with the presentation of symptoms and how they typically manifest themselves.

Please let me know if you have any further questions that I can help in answering for you. I want to be certain that I have answered your question completely and thoroughly.

If you feel that I've answered your question to your satisfaction then I would greatly appreciate your clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for the answer and suggestions I've provided to you. I hope this finds you well and look forward to your response.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

thank you for your reply, my sons unhappiness came to light after an incident at school where he took something not belonging to him, I knew he felt bullied and disliked, he is now feeling ill he say's he cant believe he has done such a thing, his house master thinks it is a cry for help, I don't know if we should move schools ?

I can sincerely ***** ***** conclusion reached by his house master as this type of behavior is often a cry for help because it typically is. He likely feels that he is not receiving any attention and is considered an "outcast" therefore he does something to get attention, even if it's negative attention.

Based on his significant remorse and coming to you he seems to be a very sensitive young man which would reinforce the importance of his seeing a therapy as soon as possible.

As for his moving schools, my thought is this...a lot of times a teenager in a particularly stressful environment could very well bring out a difficulty in adjusting which often brings about what is considered to be an adjustment disorder which if not addressed can transform into a major depression in need of professional help. I would strongly urge you to set a time aside to speak with your son and to voice your concerns about his well being and to ask him specifically if his having difficulty in adjusting and feeling comfortable has led to the aforementioned behaviors and acting out. I typically don't suggest that schools are changed and to address the problems. However, in light of the significance of his behaviors and difficulties I think it would be worth exploring between you, your husband and your son. I would also suggest that he try therapy for a few sessions at least before the decision is finalized as it should ultimately come from him.

I hope that helps to clarify things further and please don't hesitate to ask anything further. If you feel I've answered all your questions then I would truly appreciate your clicking the ACCEPT button though please be sure to ask anything further before doing so. Thank you again for the chance to help.

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