Thank you for the added information. It helps a lot. I believe I can now be of help with this issue.
First, let me say I am so glad that you went through the checklist and that the evidence is there enough that you there is a clear direction for you to take. I work with families of kids who have different types of disorders and it can be so frustrating when everything isn't working and things are just getting worse and you are trying to be good parents and grandparents and it seems everything you do just doesn't help. So I want you to start by taking a deep breath and feel hopeful: you ARE being the best grandparent you can to a kid who has a very difficult disorder most likely. Kellen is dealing with forces in himself that are overwhelming him.
And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. Just having a name to the disorder can help. Because it lets you look for someone in your area to work with Kellen. You need to find a psychologist or psychotherapist who has experience working with RAD. So that is the family's first task. You need to go on a hunt for that professional. His parents need to ask at the school, doctors, look online in your area, ask anyone who they can think of--you're looking for someone who works with RAD.
As for the ADHD and the Vivanse and the anxiety meds, they aren't hurting the effort. The problem is they aren't enough to address the pervasive problems Kellen is dealing with in himself and the defiant, oppositional, violent behavior. RAD doesn't answer all questions for you and his parents. But it DOES give a framework from which to understand and address Kellen's problems and needs. And it can guide the medication choices better. And it can give hope for the future even if the present is so difficult with him.
Look at the home page of the website I sent you to:
If you read their story, it will maybe offer you the kind of hope you need to have. And some extra new strength to give a little more love, understanding and effort to this boy even though he may not be able to respond to it in a healthy way. Join the support forum and see some of the topics there and get strength from that as well.
Read as much as you can about it and become an expert. Here's the Mayo Clinic entry for it. It is a number of pages so scroll through:
I've made an Amazon search page for you of books that can help you become expert parents:
Everything above I;'ve addressed to you but it is for his parents as well. So, have hope and know that the road is long but you CAN navigate through the rough places.
I wish you the very best!
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