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Answered in 21 minutes by:
6/13/2011
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2,177
Experience: Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
VerifiedHello. I believe I can be of help to you with this issue.
I'm terribly sorry to hear that this has happened. Unfortunately, the odds are reasonably high that your husband is having an affair or has had one recently. It is certainly possible that he simply wants to be free of your marriage and his other family responsibilities, but usually, interest in, or activity with, another woman provokes these declarations.
I suspect you can retrace the history of his growing distance and disengagement. I suspect your sex life has virtually disappeared as well, and that he stopped all forms of affection weeks or months ago. Can you reflect on this and put together a short summary of when this all started and what might be 'causing' it? Whatever makes sense for you to speculate about.
And, what will you do if your husband does decide to ask for a divorce? What sort of family resources, savings, retirement accounts, etc., would get divided. Have you thought of at least talking to a family practice attorney, or read about divorce and property laws in your state on the internet? What I'm getting at here is a very important need on your part to mobilize your energy a bit to look into some of the practical issues that would be associated with a breakdown of your marriage and a divorce, in the event they did occur. I do this because most women are quite debilitated by the trauma of their spouse leaving them, to do enough things to protect themselves physically and financially. What do you think?
I'm terribly sorry to hear that this has happened. Unfortunately, the odds are reasonably high that your husband is having an affair or has had one recently. It is certainly possible that he simply wants to be free of your marriage and his other family responsibilities, but usually, interest in, or activity with, another woman provokes these declarations.
I suspect you can retrace the history of his growing distance and disengagement. I suspect your sex life has virtually disappeared as well, and that he stopped all forms of affection weeks or months ago. Can you reflect on this and put together a short summary of when this all started and what might be 'causing' it? Whatever makes sense for you to speculate about.
And, what will you do if your husband does decide to ask for a divorce? What sort of family resources, savings, retirement accounts, etc., would get divided. Have you thought of at least talking to a family practice attorney, or read about divorce and property laws in your state on the internet? What I'm getting at here is a very important need on your part to mobilize your energy a bit to look into some of the practical issues that would be associated with a breakdown of your marriage and a divorce, in the event they did occur. I do this because most women are quite debilitated by the trauma of their spouse leaving them, to do enough things to protect themselves physically and financially. What do you think?
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