Mental Health

Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Mental Health
This answer was rated:

My wife and I have been together for 11 years and married

for 5 years. We...
My wife and I have been together for 11 years and married for 5 years. We have two girls 10 and 4 years old. We both are stay at home parents. We are able to stay at home because my wife has an income of over 700,000 per year. My wife is 29 and I am 31. Two days ago I asked her, what was wrong? She replied, I don't think I love you anymore, I'm not atractted to you. We are both great parents, we never fought or argued, we always trusted eachother, and she said that there is know one else. We have been very distant the past few months. I wake up at 6:30 and get my kids to school, then golf or get chores done at home. My wife wakes up at 11:00 gets ready, picks up the girls at school. We pick up dinner, then either I or my wife will have softball or she will go to the casino. I'm usually in bed before she comes home. When we are in bed together she is watching TV and I just go to bed.
I'm hoping that maybe she so stressed due to the fact she lost her brother 3 years ago. He was only 23, drug OD. She has stopped talking to her mom due to all the stress her mother gave her. And some of her friendships are suffering . She was the victum of all those sittuations.
My wife said she is going to see a counselor, but I'm not sure if it's marriage. I love my wife and girls and I'm willing to do anything to fix our relationship. I know I can't make her love me and I know that. I hope she wants to try to work on us. Please help, I never have felt so sad, worthless , unsure, and scared.
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 24 minutes by:
6/2/2011
TherapistMarryAnn
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,860
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Verified

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

From your description, it sounds like your wife may be depressed. The loss of her brother and the relationship with her mother, two very significant relationships in her life, are both either damaged or gone. This has probably impacted her much more that she realizes.

One of the best things you can do is to let her know you care and you want to work on things with her. If she does want you involved in counseling, make sure you go. Suggest you both talk to the therapist, even if it's just a few sessions. Give her time to work on whatever is bothering her, but stay in touch with her feelings. Ask her about her sessions and if she will talk to you, listen closely. Touch her gently and tell her you care about how she feels.

You can also work on how to help her through self help. There are many ways you can connect with her. Here are some very good websites and books to get you started:

http://www.marriagetoday.com/- this site may talk about infidelity, but the basic principles apply in helping your marriage become stronger.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver

Fighting for Your Marriage: A Deluxe Revised Edition of the Classic Best-seller for Enhancing Marriage and Preventing Divorce by Howard J. Markman, Scott M. Stanley and Susan L. Blumberg

The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy by John Mordechai Gottman

You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.

You may also want to work on the time you both spend together. It sounds like you live separate lives, which even in the best marriages will cause you to grow apart. Make time to do things you enjoy together. Go out to dinner without the kids, take your wife to a movie. Have a date night. Be interested in what she is doing. Ask her about herself. Do something small for her, like set up a bath with rose petals or make her a cup of tea. It may take some doing, but if she still has feelings about your marriage, as I suspect she does, she will come around.

Let me know if I can help in any other way,

Kate

TherapistMarryAnn
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,860
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Verified
TherapistMarryAnn and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask TherapistMarryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,860
5,860 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

TherapistMarryAnn is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

5,860 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
Can stress in the workplace cause indigestion, stomach upset
Can stress in the workplace cause indigestion, stomach upset and bloating? … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
I have a new job. It's highly stressful and I work hours
I have a new job. It's highly stressful and I work long hours sometimes 15 a day. I'm starting to have what I think are panic stacks. What do I do? … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
I feel this feeling of guilt and sadness and I'm not sure
I feel this feeling of guilt and sadness and I'm not sure why Would you happen to have an explanation for that … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
I feel sad so much I need help dealing with how I feel
I feel sad so much I need help dealing with how I feel because it's affecting with my relationship with my boyfriend and my happiness in general… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
I'm going through a stressful period and would like some
I'm going through a stressful period and would like some relief from stress & pain, … read more
Dr. Thomas, MD
Dr. Thomas, MD
2,227 satisfied customers
I'm writing because I'm in a very stressful upsetting
Hi,I'm writing because I'm in a very stressful upsetting relationship, and I need to make sense of it. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is an angry guy by nature. I think he's a bit narci… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
I want to stop using cilift 40 mg for post pardom stress
Good day. I want to stop using cilift 40 mg for post pardom stress disorder. Because I think it is the reason for my weight gain. Is it possible for weight gain Thank you… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
Second opinion] OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad
second opinion] OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad state of mind ever since my mother figure passed away last year. I suffer from insomnia ever since. Loss of interest in daily activities. I p… read more
Juliet Cooper
Juliet Cooper
Doctorate of Psychology
29 satisfied customers
OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad state of mind
OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad state of mind ever since my mother figure passed away last year. I suffer from insomnia ever since. I've been sad often. I noticed my mood is better when I'm… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
I am recently divorced, working a stressful job, have over
I am recently divorced, working a stressful job, have over an hour drive each way to work in rush hour traffic, and worry a lot about things to the point of not having an appetite. I cycle to try to a… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
What can I do to un-stress? I've painted my nails for the
What can I do to un-stress? I've painted my nails for the first time in ages, and my husband has court RIGHT NOW. I am just wishing for his wellness, and ours as a family. It's for him assaulting me, … read more
Dr. Phil, MD
Dr. Phil, MD
Internal Medicine Physician
Doctoral Degree
2,620 satisfied customers
I am 54 and sad and lonely, just like the lady I am reading
I am 54 and sad and lonely, just like the lady I am reading about right now. … read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
I am stressing out at work because I work for a covert
I am stressing out at work because I work for a covert bully. He is a sociopath. He has made my life hell for two months. I am. Losing sleep and I carry stress in the pit of my stomach. I haven't been… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
OKMH710211 If stress is too high, how do you meditate enough
OKMH710211 If stress is too high, how do you meditate enough to get more than an hour of sleep at a time?… read more
Patience
Patience
Mental Health Therapist
Master\u0027s Degree
116 satisfied customers
I am so sad and exhausted. My baby brother dies April 2015,
I am so sad and exhausted. My baby brother dies April 2015, 18 months later i list my Mom. I had been her caterer … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
I I'm going through extreme stressful situation right now.
I I'm going through extreme stressful situation right now. My doctor prescribed valium to relax me but I have been on Paxil for many years. I get the sleep but wake up all adgitated. Ant ideas?? … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
I've been under a lot of stress lately, and I'm hearing
I've been under a lot of stress lately, and I'm hearing voices that aren't really voices, they're there. They imply feelings of anger and frustration. And the only thing that comes to mind is "money i… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I have some stress because of my older sister Shazmin Lalji
Hi my name is***** have some stress because of my older sister Shazmin Lalji and her family. She always want to compete and it seems she can be skinny sometimes and other times she can be fat sometime… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x