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Norman M.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2568
Experience:  ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
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Both of us are 57 years old. havent had sex in 2 years and

Resolved Question:

both of us are 57 years old. havent had sex in 2 years and she was extremely drunk. she found out that i had used adult friend finder(nothing happened) and had been texting a clients 40 yr old daughter too much. that was an affair, lots of secret meetings, making out but no sex. that has ended. i told her that it was all business with her ailing father (client). now anytime i ask for sex, she brings this issue up and says i should know how to make up to her. i have apologized 1000 times and havent done it since. only sex i get in on porn sites where i infected her computer with a virus, no doubt from the porn sites. had that fixed. back in the doghouse again. do women really know what they want and will this ever be "put to bed"?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Norman M. replied 6 years ago.
To take the last bit of your question first - they expect their partners to be faithful and to discuss what problems - sexual or otherwise - they may have. Reasonable?

What they do NOT want is for their partner to go off and have virtual sex with someone else.

Your post seem mainly centred around your needs. You are thinking of trying a new affair to satisfy them. That is the one thing that is almost 100% guaranteed to destroy whatever may be left of your relationship. Your choice of course.

If you want to even try to salvage what is left, you need to sit down with her and tell her that whatever it takes to fix this, and if you really didknow howto make it up to her. you would do that. Explain to her that with the best will in the world, you might make a wrong guess as to what to do, and then do the wrong thing. Ask her to tell you excatly what it would take - or to weite to you in a letter what it would take - then do it.

Try to stay calm and objective, no drama. If you do decide to do what she wants - do it with total commitment, no holding back. What se needs from you is action more than words. Sp - forget about the affair and make an effort.

Wishing you both the best, NorrieM
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