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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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My son is graduating from High School in a couple of days.

Customer Question

My son is graduating from High School in a couple of days. He wants to go to a local jr. college and live at home the first couple of years.
What are appropriate boundaries that need to be agreed on as he is graduating in a couple of days.
Curfew, household contributions (chores), $ toward food and house bills, etc.
I don't want to have this be a 2 year extension of High School.
Lastly, appropriate consequences for not adhering to the boundaries set. Oh ya, do we supply him $ for anything, as "he's a 19 year old man" or so he says, THANK YOU for any help you can give. I want to do the right thing that will help him grow up and take care of life on life's terms without all the drama.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 6 years ago.
Hi, Thank you for writing in to JustAnswer. It is a good idea for you to give your son adult responsibility such as paying for his rent and food. You may need to propose reasonable amounts of rent and food as he may not be able to work full-time while attending his local college.
I am not sure if a curfew is going to work. Your son is an adult, after all. Still, you can present his new "adult" living arrangement to carry responsibilities along with it. You are still the rule maker of the household because it is your house. If there are behaviors you absolutely won't stand for, such as coming home drunk, then you should make clear that breaking those rules would have the same consequence as breaching a lease.
Your son is at a transition point in his life. He is out of high school, but he is still a student. Ideally, he should concentrate on his studies with some time to work and/or have fun in his spare time. I think if you make your expectations clear, that will help him to adjust to adulthood smoothly over time.
Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any.
P.S. Please remember to click the green accept button. You do NOT get charged the fee twice. Feel free to continue the discussion even after you press the accept button; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Warm regards,
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I do need more info, but it's late and I have to be up in a few hours. Can I continue this tomorrow??
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 6 years ago.
Hi, Yes, Feel free to continue discussion. Thank you.