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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5809
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Im an Accounting Manager I am Manufacturing Company and I

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I'm an Accounting Manager I am Manufacturing Company and I have a Temp (man probably 55 or more) that reports to me. I gave him the opportunity to work here because his was unemployed for a long time and he was also referred to me from a person that I know, so I decided to give him the opportunity. Everything was fine but I started to see some things in this guy that were like rare, but did not wanted to make a great deal about it because I said to myself the the company will think that I'm the one with the problem. My previous employee which was also a temp , went she left she said a lot of bad things about me and since I thought to myself that I'm the one with the problem , I wanted to just surpassed the things that I did like about this man and go with the flow. I mentioned to my husband that I felt like, he's very confused and un secure person but still left him working for me since I know how difficult is to find a job nowadays and he's a family man. We'll the thing is that today he came to me to inform me that he needed to leave early because the doctor wanted to talk to him about something that he saw in the spinal cord of his daughter. I said ok, go take care of that, is very important and wish him that everything will be fine. Then out of nothing he said" You know how much we love our kids and of course I agreed , I'm very maternal myself and the he goes : I go to sleep every night with my daughter until she falls asleep. His daughter is 14 years old. I couldn't believe what he was saying. And then he added, we'll I will keep doing this until she gets marry and someone else will take my place. " I said oh my God, I have like a Physo in my office. Probably his not doing nothing sexually to her but I found this so weird. Probably I'm exaggerating , but is this normal?. Am I overreacting?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 6 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.


No you are not overreacting. Your employee's behavior is quite unusual and does border on sexually inappropriate behavior. No man should be sleeping next to his 14 year old daughter until she falls asleep. He is acting in a partner/husband role and that is never right. And at 14, a girl developmentally needs to have more privacy. There is also the concern that he could eventually be tempted to cross the line into sexual abuse. And since the relationship is already inappropriate, this could be a possibility.


At this point, it is probably a good idea to not comment on what he told you. Treat him as normally as you can, just like you have up to now. What you want to do is leave the lines of communication open. If he ever learns you do not approve, he may stop sharing with you. That lessens the chance he would share any more information with you about his relationship with his daughter, or anything else he is doing for that matter.


You also can contact the local Children and Youth services and ask about what you heard. You do not have to give your name. Just let them know you are unsure what to do and how to handle it if you do discover that this child is being abused. They should be able to give you specifics on how to handle the situation.


I hope this has helped you,


Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you so much, I was going to find help for my self. I felt that something was wrong with him for a long time and I was feeling very uncomfortable around him. Since I had a problem with my previous employee I did not dare to mention to Human Resources what I was felling thinking that they would blame me for the people that report to me that I was the one woith the problem. I spoke to Human Resources about and How I felt before and she told me that she also have noticed that something was swrong with him. He's not very sociable, a very quiet person and reserved. I can not imagine how his wife aceepts this behavior. Once I saw my husband ,sitting on the same bed of his niece watching TV and I told him to get way from there that that did'nt look good. He understood and left the bed without any comment or anything . he realized that I was right. That was with a person that was not even my daughter and I would have never permit this with my daughter. Something is also wrong with his wife. I think she is happy that he's slepping with his daughter and not need to deal with him. She' in a comfort zone, of course thinking about her well being and not her daughters. But anyway thanks for telling me that I was not overreacting.
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 6 years ago.

You are welcome! I am glad I could help.


Whenever a child is involved, it is always a good idea to err on the safe side and be cautious. You never know what goes on behind closed doors so playing it safe is a good option.


Your employee does sound like he has some issues. I understand your reluctance to bring the situation up to Human resources but in light of possible future problems maybe a consult is not a bad idea. It never hurts to be prepared.



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