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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5824
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Am in desperate need of an AHA moment. Many years ago, my

Customer Question

am in desperate need of an AHA moment. Many years ago, my dad and I were having a discussion about growing old. He said, "that if I had known I would live so long, I would have taken better care of myself." Curously, I find myself in the same position. I didn't plan for a life after 50. I raised my daughter as a single parent, went to work and paid the bills. Now what? I can't engage. I have no passions and what is worst no interest. I am taking Lamictal as mood stabilizer (Bi-polar 2) and Zyprexa for depression. . I am discouraged. My finances are a mess and I can't get out of the food. I am hoping you can give me a very needed aha moment. Thank you for your help. Jeanine Chapman
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

I usually rely on our mental health system but I think this solution is in you. First control for depression and its far reaching effects. Find stability to control for lack of interest and poor motivation because that can keep you from finding your peace and happiness. Make sure that your struggle is not related to that issue.

When you have found stability there, begin your journey to self discovery. Better late than never. Try anything positive that will lead to happiness. Find things that peak your interest. If you don't like something abandon it. But something is going to wake you up. You don't know if you don't try. You will find passion eventually. You are still young. Now is the time to act like you have empty nest syndrome and you want to conquer it. You can do this.

If this is helpful press accept

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I am not dissatisfied with your answer but I was hoping for aha moment- You answers are very famililar to me. I need to make an effort but I am just so tired that I can't help myself right now.
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 6 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like you might need your medication changed. Changing medications can often have a huge effect on mood. Lamictal is known to stabilize mood but a side effect is blunting of your mood. In other words, it can cause you to have low motivation. Anti depressants also cause an increased appetite so that may also need to be adjusted or changed. Try asking your doctor about Wellbutrin, Effexor and Serzone. These medications either do not cause weight gain, cause very little weight gain and can even cause weight loss. Sometimes it takes many tries before you find a medication that works for you.

When you tried counseling before, did it help? If not, you may want to try again. Sometimes you need to search a little before finding a therapist you feel can help you. Try asking your doctor for a referral. Or you can search on line at

You mentioned trying church and friends. These are good sources to help you feel better. Try to make plans with church activities and with friends, even if you do not feel like you want to. If you keep trying, it is more likely you will start enjoying yourself more.

Consider exploring your interests through taking on line tests and reading. It may seem simple, but taking the time to find out who you and focusing on yourself will help you get back in touch with what you want to do. You focused so long on surviving, raising your daughter and being there for others, you have moved away from yourself. It is time to reconnect and discover what you want to do. Here are some resources to help:

In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want by Iyanla VanZant

The Nine Rooms of Happiness: Loving Yourself, Finding Your Purpose, and Getting Over Life's Little Imperfections by Lucy Danziger and Catherine Birndorf

Who Am I, Really?: Finding Yourself Along Life's Pathway by Mrs. Katie Estvold

You can find these books on or your local library may have them for you.

I hope this has helped,

TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5824
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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