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Arundhati, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed psychotherapist, Published Wellness Author
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How to prove if a person has psychological impotence. I

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How to prove if a person has psychological impotence. I suspect my husband has this problem. He losses his erection during intercourse and also gets anxious. Though he is just 29 years and newly married he hardly like to have/initiate sex. He prefers sex only once or twice a month even if I initiate. He is also a pron addict and masturbates a lot. But after I brought this issue he denies and says he is normal. Can a psyhiatrist find out if he has problem or not through counselling. He is ready to come to doctor but just to prove he is normal and once a marrige counseller asked him if he has problem he doesn't admit. So if doesn't open up can a psychiatrist still find out his problem. Dear experts as you people are well experienced in such patents do let me know what exactly is the problem as i feel it is not normal for my hubby t be this way. Am I right? If so, let me know what kind of problem it is in detail from your experience. Also if take him to psychiatrist can the doctor find out from my hubby about his problem even if my hubby lies and doesn't cooperate? Is there any specific test to prove or find out psychological impotency problems
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Arundhati replied 6 years ago.

Thank you for writing in to Just Answer.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

It seems that your husband is not open to discussing what is clearly a problem in your marriage. Intimacy is an important aspect of a healthy marriage and it is only natural for your husband to want to engage in intimacy with you but for some reason he seems to avoid it in this case. It is possible that he has a low libido (sexual appetite). But this seems unlikely since you mention that he is a porn addict and masturbates a lot. One explanation for his behavior could be that his addiction to porn and masturbation has gone to a point where he is unable to enjoy regular sex with a partner and instead likes to fantasize and view erotic pictures to get turned on. This could also be why he is unable to maintain an erection during sex with you since he is habituated to getting aroused by porn.

Rather than having a psychiatrist diagnose his Erectile Dysfunction (ED) as having psychological roots I think the important first step is to rule out medical conditions. The two of you could consult with a General Physician and explain the situation and the doctor would then through a series of questions be able to identify if there could be any medical causes to his ED. For example, if your husband gets early morning erections, and/or is able to maintain his erections during masturbation then those are clear indications that the problem is psychological. So once a medical doctor investigates the only other explanation would be that there is a psychological origin to his ED.

If you are in marriage counseling, I would encourage you to bring up the issue of your husband's porn addiction and extensive masturbation because that can certainly be coming in the way of his ability to enjoy a healthy intimacy with you.

I hope this was helpful. Please click on Accept if it was helpful as experts are not credited for their time or service otherwise. Please feel free to continue the conversation even after clicking on "Accept".

Kind Regards,

Arundhati and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
He does have morning erections and got a medical fitness certificate too. So, I suspect there must be some psychological problem or nervous or anxiety issues. But he is not admitting it to the counsellor and lies about our freuency of intercourse which doesn't help solve the problem. If i take him to psychiatric counselling will the doctor have any specific questioning / tests wherein we can bring about the actual cause of such problem. My question is can psychiatrist encourage or try any specific technique which could help us to findout my husbands problem and make him admit it so that we can treat him. Like hypnotysiing or so even if my husband lies. I am just curious if such things have worked out in your experience? coz if only it works i can insist him to visit a psychiatirist right..

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