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Dr. K
Dr. K, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 358
Experience:  15 years clinical experience in all areas of psychiatry. Holistic and practical approach.
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I have difficulty getting close to anyone. I envy the

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I have difficulty getting close to anyone. I envy the relaxed, close relationships my friends share and even though I trust my friends and I want to be close to them, I have a hard time relaxing and actually sharing anything. No one (friends or family) know everything about me because I have a hard time sharing things that really matter. It makes me sad because I feel isolated all the time and even though I know I'm doing it to myself, I can't seem to stop. How do I overcome the bizarre need to keep what I really think and feel secret?
What you are going through is actually very common & can be overcome. You are relatively young & have most of your life ahead of you so keep hope alive.
Basically this difficulty getting close to people most likely represents a few different issues: 1) social anxiety, 2) fear of intimacy, and 3) fear of rejection (and these last 2 are actually really just different types of anxieties).
The best approach to overcoming anxiety is a holistic one. The simplest way to start would be by reading some self-help books. Ones that come to mind for you include the following:
There are also several self-help books you can read which will help.
1) The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra, 2) The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns; 3) The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by ***** *****, 4) The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven, Step-by-Step Techniques for Overcoming Your Fear by Martin M. Antony and Richard P. Swinson , & 5) The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by Edmund J. Bourne.
I almost always recommend 1) psychotherapy with a live therapist, and 2) learning some formal relaxation therapy. Also, by formal relaxation therapy I mean yoga, meditation, or similar methods. Having relaxing hobbies is also important, but not quite the same as formal relaxation therapy.
These last 2 treatments I mentioned are proven by sophisticated studies using brain scans (CT, MRI, EEG, pet scans) to improve brain function.
And remember you can't separate emotional health from physical health, so exercise & nutrition are vital.
Medications can be helpful for some people, but based on your brief description I think the previous ideas will give you more "bang for the buck," so to speak. Talk to your doc if you want to consider medication.
I hope this helps. Let me know if you need more feedback. Good luck & take care.
Please let me know if you need more information. We can continue the dialog until you are satisfied. Once you are happy with the answers don't forget to hit the ACCEPT button & provide expert feedback. Also remember that this is not an official doctor patient relationship and not a substitute for a full live psychiatric evaluation. Thank you for using
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