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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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I have been in a relationship for almost 10 years. There is

Customer Question

I have been in a relationship for almost 10 years. There is a pattern to it. About every 6 months he starts getting very moody. This goes on for a few weeks - getting worse over time. Then we would get into a big fight and "break up" after a few days he will start calling and begging to get back together. I will relent and the next two monthS are great until the cycle starts again. It usually happens around my birthday - April 1st and then again just before Christmas. We have had 10 Christmases together and have been broken up for 6 of those. My friends and family are sick of the on going drama as am I. I really want to find the strength to get away from him.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

You have to find the strength. Someone who has broken up that many times is very manipulative, doesn't care about your well being, is totally selfish or likes to take a vacation from the relationship. He has told you by his actions time and time again that he is and will never be devoted, supportive or considerate. Why would want you want that in another person. Every person deserves more than that unless you don't think you do. He isn't worth one more day. If you want to spend holidays alone you can stay but if you want a guy who is dedicated run. I agree with your friends! It is only a matter of time before he leaves. And every time he calls making promises he won't keep them. You deserve stability and he isn't it

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I know I should't be with him. The problem is I keep going back. I have broken up with him more times then he has broken up with me - because of his actions. I need to know how to not go back. It has been 10 years and I do love him deeply.
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
You don't go back by not listening to the promises. Remind yourself that they have never been true before. Stop convincing yourself that he is worth going back to. No one can prevent this but you. Remind yourself of all the things he has done rather than this is great and that is great. You need to focus on the negative in this case so you remember why you left