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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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My question is regarding quite time/space. I need a lot more

Resolved Question:

Hi. My question is regarding quite time/space. I need a lot more physical and mental "space" than my partner. If our needs are quite different, is that a problem that will only get worse; i.e. breakdown of our relationship? What can we do for both of us to get our needs met?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

This is a common problem and it doesn't mean the end of the relationship. The difference between couples who are successful and those that are not is one little word: compromise. I would love to tell you for instance that you can be around him 24/7 and he can be out with his buddies every night. That is not the case. The difference is going to be how much you and your partner are willing to compromise - and be happy. You can get your needs met by compromising enough that you are happy but not so much that you get your way all the time. When you compromise you both learn how to give. Couples find this productive in many ways including getting their needs met. Also learn to adapt to each other's positives. If you are a home body, then maybe he can learn to read for instance. Good luck

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you. Just a quick follow up...How can I communicate I need space without hurt feelings and my partner not taking it personally?
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
If you really compromise with your partner so they feel valuable you won't hurt their feelings. Start by: I have been wanting to do ------ but I don't want you to feel left out. Maybe we can do ---- Saturday and I will do --------. I want you to be okay with it
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