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Karyn Jones
Karyn Jones, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1716
Experience:  Diploma of Counselling and Transactional Analysis Counselling, Lifeline counselling, Pastoral Care.
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Why doesn't my ex return my things? It has been 5 months.

Customer Question

Why doesn't my ex return my things? It has been 5 months. Will I hear from him?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Arundhati replied 6 years ago.

Thank you for writing in to Just Answer.

I think you will need to be more assertive with your ex. I would recommend calling or emailing and giving him a date by which he must return your items. Writing an email will mean creating a paper trail with which if he fails to respond after repeated emails you can go to the police if required.

You can try emailing him a list of the items of yours that he has and ask him to return by a particular date and see what happens.

Please let me know if you have further questions/thoughts.

Kind Regards,

Expert:  Karyn Jones replied 6 years ago.
Hello thank you for requesting me once again and for bringing your concerns to Just Answer.
With respect to Arundhati's answer to you...and on an emotional psychological level...there might well be a number of reasons as to why your your ex boyfriend does not return your belongings..and or contact you...Of these the first being, is that there is a possibility that he finds it just too painful for him emotionally .. as you have only recently separated and I am truly sorry to hear that this has happened...another reason could be that he may just want your belongings close to a reminder of the closeness that you once shared together,hence not letting them go...third, he is feeling 'stuck' in his life and this separation... hence having trouble accepting whats happened ...forth, whatever he is facing on all levels (emotionally, psychologically ) he finds difficult to cope with, and the pain of communicating with you is just too great for him to bear...
I note that in the past you have also had communication issues within your relationship via your boyfriend, and that he has contacted you further down the line after months have gone this could happen again if it shares itself by way of a pattern or way of behavior for him...This young man really needs help emotionally...psychologically as he is struggling greatly with whatever ails him...It sounds to me as though you are the only 'true' person that shares by way of understanding his issues and great hurts...
I do hope that this has been of help to you...and feel for you much in this not an easy time for you either...Please take very good care of 'self' though
and please accept my response if it has been of help you...
Blessings and peace...and I really do pray that you will both get this sorted out...