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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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2nd opinion - I have reason to believe that my

Customer Question

I was shocked to descover that my boyfriend potentially was having an affair. My feelings have become numb and i would like to know why this has happened and when they will come back.

Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

I am very sorry for the delay. By potentially I assume you mean that he actually was having an affair. Sometimes when a relationship has a one or both members engaging in sex outside of the relationship, a member will psychologically protect themselves by building a wall or what you call feeling "numb" in order act as a protective seal around their feelings or thoughts. It is a way to partially face the abuse without the pain. Feelings numb can also be a way to moving on emotionally from a relationship that is not working or is not positive. You need to examine why you feel you are responding this way. Is the relationship not fulfilling? Are you having issues with your mood or your emotions which is more about your own self and not his? Is he no longer desirable by you. You know deep down the reason. if this is a relationship issue or a couples issues see a marriage counselor in your area. If it feels like issues within yourself find a counselor for you. They may or may not come back



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Customer: replied 6 years ago.

he has insisted that nothing is going on and the evidence is all circumstantial. I paritially believe this or would rather believe it but cant. I can email the girl and ask her but i have not had the courage to do so. I am in denial maybe? I cant sleep or have not really slept since.


I a have recently started out as a school teacher- a job that i did for us. I know feel like if this affair is true- i will not be able to perform as a teacher or want to be a teacher.


I dont know. I really cant believe the timing of this either??