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David Akiva
David Akiva, BA, MA,
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 167
Experience:  Counselor; Behavioral Consultant
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My son can't get over getting breaking up with his

Resolved Question:

My son can't get over getting breaking up with his girlfriend.
He blames himself for not acting on her wishes to move to london together. She broke up with him then moved to London without him,he followed shortly after, but failed to win her back.
Prior to this he had a year out after University and lived with his parents.
Had a job for 3 years was going to start a career but spent a year at home looking for jobs.At this time he was also gambling online and helping his girlfriend with her course.
She moved after qualifying, tried to get him to move also, but he hesitated ,don't know why ?lazyness,gambling,
He does not like changes but they were talking about moving in together.
Now we are sick with worry as he is talking suicide.He turns every positive aspect in his life into a negative because they are not together.
All the family are trying to help but he can't get past losing the girlfriend.
We need guidance as we don't know how much more time we can wait before he gets over this.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  David Akiva replied 6 years ago.
Duddy :

Welcome, I am a professional counselor, Behavioral-Consultant and relationship expert.

Duddy :

I'd like to ask a few questions to better understand your situation and your question before answering. Is that ok with you?

Duddy :

I'll check back shortly for your response as I see you are currently offline.

Customer:

yes thats fine

Duddy :

Thank you....

Duddy :

The first thing I have to concern my self with is the risk/talk of suicide you mentioned for your son? If he's talking suicide I would get him to a therapist ASAP for a risk assessment. I would also get him to your family doctor to do a full medical assessment and let the doctor know about your son's life interfering thoughts, talk and behavior.....

Duddy :

I'd recommend cognitive behavior therapy for him as well to help your son to effectively manage and positively change his negative thoughts and feelings...Let me get you a link:

Duddy :

This is what I mean by cognitive behavior therapy:

Duddy :

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/cognitive-behavioral-therapy/MY00194

Duddy :

Sorry got disconnected for a minute...

Duddy :

A licensed therapist or mental health counselor will have basic training in grief counseling as well, which may be an indicated part of short term evidence-based treatment approach for your son....

Duddy :

The idea here would be to properly grieve and find healthy closure for the loss of his girlfriend and the relationship. A CBT therapist will also be able to do basic screening for problems like depression which may have been triggered by the relationship issue. It's very difficult to tell in this brief question and answer format what your son's condition is. Your doctor and a well trained CBT therapist can do the needed clinical interviewing and screening to cover all basis in terms of potential diagnosis, problem definition and treatment.

Duddy :

What are your thoughts here?

Duddy :

Here is a basic resource related to the grieving process:

Duddy :

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

Duddy :

I'll wait for your response.

Duddy :

I'm not sure if your at your computer. So I'll check back later for your response.

Duddy :

Thought I'd check back....

Duddy :

...

Customer:

My son has had 2 50 minute sessions with a counsellor, would seeing his doctor for anti depressants be advisable because of the urgency of the problem?

Duddy :

I think seeing his doctor immediately is very important, both to rule out any physical/medical conditions that may be contributing to his symptoms and for immediate depression screening and risk assessment. It's outside of my scope of practice to prescribe or advise on medications directly, that fall's within a medical professional's role and is part of why I always advise in similar conditions to what you describe, to get to the family doctor as an important first step medically.

Duddy :

What was the outcome of the counseling session? What was discovered and advised? Was your son screened for depression and other potential contributing issues? Was a basic suicide risk/self harm assessment done?

Customer:

Thanks for your help

Duddy :

These worst case scenarios are most often not applicable but screening needs to be done for safety sake.

Duddy :

Your welcome.

Duddy :

...

Duddy :

I hope I've satisfactorily answered your presenting question. If so, please don’t forget to press the “Accept” button on your screen. If you feel I’ve missed something please let me know and I’ll do my best to improve my answer for you, before you pay. I can also opt-out if you'd like to get a second perspective from yet another mental health expert from our team. It's important that you not pay for an answer that is not acceptable to you, but also that you let me know how best to improve my answer for you.

Duddy :

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