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Thank you for your question. Before providing any recommendations, I have a few clarifying questions. What are your current concerns for your daughter? Have you been able to express these concerns to your wife/ex-wife (I couldn't tell what your relationship with the mother was).
that shes way in over her head with a 18 year old adult and not yet mature enough to be in a relastionship and her safety and the boys saftey. Me and my wife are currently seperated...for 3 years. Yes i have exspressed my concerns, but to no agreement
What was your wife's response to your concerns?
Also, how would you describe your relationship with your daughter?
that she has it all under controll and that i shouldnt be worried becuase his a good boy
Do you trust your ex-wife?
I do. But we dont agree on this matter do to the age diffrence.
I know you do not approve your daughter dating an 18 year old. If you ban your daughter from dating this boy, what do you think will happen?
i think she will be made at me at first, but she will get over it because she knows im looking after her best intrest. Mind you that she whent behind my back anyway.
If she already went behind your back, don't you think she will try to see him secretly?
yes, but there must be a consequense to her action regardless. What do sugest i do?
I have to opposing suggestions you can take. My first recommendation is to meet this boy with your daughter so you can get to know him. Also you can tell your daughter that you do not approve of her dating someone much older, but you know that you cannot stop her. If she is sexually active, I suggest having a talk about safe sex. If she is not sexually active, I suggest having a talk about safe sex. Then, let her know that you are concerned about her and that she can always come to you for support. The other completely opposite recommendation I have is to ban her from seeing this boy (but I have a feeling she may find ways to see him anyway) The thing is, the more you ban something from a teen, the more the teen may push back (depending on the teen of course)
If you chose the second suggestion, you will have to somehow convince your ex-wife about this because you will be seen as the "bad guy" if your ex does not follow along, damaging your relationship with your daughter.
I completely understand your concerns because you don't want your daughter to get hurt, taken advantage of, etc. Basically for her safety. I encourage you to share your concerns for safety to her as well if you follow the second suggestion
thank you Brad. Have a good evening.
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