Mental Health

Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Mental Health

My problem is that I don't know how to fit into the world as

Customer Question
Hi, My problem is that I...
Hi,
My problem is that I don't know how to fit into the world as a whole. I have good people skills, but whenever I share something about myself with someone else, I feel like a pest. People repeatedly tell me I am cute and fun and "shiny" and that I have a good sense of humor. I have bipolar but that is not the -real- me. But something, maybe the bipolar, is causing me to withdraw. I also can't find anyone I can relate to in terms of having a conversation that lasts for longer than 5 minutes. I get freaked out for some reason. My perception of the world (point of life) is just to add beauty. I just want to add beauty to the world and do work, and have fun, but clean fun. I'm not sure how other people are "putting" themselves into this world. I knd of know what I am "for" but something is missing. I don't feel empty though. Just something is missing. I meet people I would love to be friends with but just -can't-. After 5 minutes, no commonality. And the people with commonality, can't force anything, and I get so bored! Also no chance to be with them.
Submitted: 6 years ago.Category: Mental Health
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 56 minutes by:
3/29/2011
Mental Health Professional: TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist replied 6 years ago
TherapistMarryAnn
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,860
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Verified

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

It is very common for people to feel like they don't fit in. It's easy to feel like an outsider and what you say is boring to others. But it is not.

People all react differently to the world. Some will do anything to fit in, some don't care (or pretend not to) and others are in between. People respond according to their own issues. Since most people are insecure and want others to like them, they will gravitate to those who seem to have a lot of confidence, whether or not that confidence is authentic. That is probably what you are seeing when you notice other people "fitting in".

When you talk with others, keep in mind a few topics you find interesting. Read the paper or watch the news. What stories stand out to you? Gather as much information as you can about the story and share it with others by saying, "Did you hear about.....?".

Also, what about yourself is unique? Do you have a hobby you love? Any good books you've read? These are good "deeper" topics, when you get through that first 5 minutes of superficial information and are looking for something deeper to talk about.

People love to talk about themselves so ask questions of the other person. What do you find appealing about them? For example, if you like someone's hair style, ask where they get it done. Ask about favorite places to take a vacation. Whatever you feel you might find interesting about them you'd like to know more about. As they talk, add a few thoughts of your own. Make eye contact intermittently, so they feel you are listening. People like to be heard and it often makes them feel closer to you. Be careful not to bombard them with questions, but a few good ones will help the conversation move along.

Pay attention to the good things people have said about you. A good sense of humor is rare so work on your skill. Try to mention something funny in each conversation you have. Don't push it, but if you do find something amusing, mention it.

If you feel comfortable enough, invite a few casual friends out for a dinner. Try to make it at least two people. One on one is hard because there is only two people holding up a conversation. But when you add another person, then you will have time to listen to how they talk to each other and learn. You also have time to practice your skills.

Here are some books to help you:

Making Friends: 8 Steps to making friends quickly and easily: How to make friends and be comfortable with yourself by Steven Aitchison

How to Instantly Connect with Anyone: 96 All-New Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes

How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

You can find these books on Amazon.com or try your local library for copies.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

TherapistMarryAnn
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,860
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Verified
TherapistMarryAnn and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask TherapistMarryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,860
5,860 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

TherapistMarryAnn is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

5,860 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
I am having terrible guilt and shame about things I did in
I am having terrible guilt and shame about things I did in my past which have suddenly come to my consciousness - when I was about 16 I was extremely sexual and ended up sniffing knickers on a number … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
I have bipolar disorder and take usual cocktail of meds. I
I have bipolar disorder and take usual cocktail of meds. I tend to depression … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
What can I do to help my son who is bipolar? He has been
What can I do to help my son who is bipolar? He has been fine for 3 years and now his daughter is blaming him for not having enough money to pay for another school because she dropped out of school wh… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
I have OCD, depression, and my mom was bipolar. Is it true
I have OCD, depression, and my mom was bipolar. Is it true when you move back to the state you had most problem after moving away you cam have ptsd and feel worse also have more problem?… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Ineed help, no not yet i take pain killers advil, im bipolar
hi ineed help JA: Have you seen a doctor about this yet? What medications are you taking? Customer: no not yet i take pain killers advil JA: How long have you had the pain? What seems to make the pain… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
My son has a Bipolar Disorder and he undergoing relapsed
My son has a Bipolar Disorder and he undergoing relapsed while in China. My wife just went to him and she gave him 600 Lithium Carbonate and now thinking it was Ambien gave him 2 mg (4 hours later) of… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
I am diagnosed with bipolar type 1,?been off my mess and am
I am diagnosed with bipolar type 1,?been off my mess and am having high anxiety … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
My brother is bipolar with paranoid tendencies and substance
My brother is bipolar with paranoid tendencies and substance abuse. He has had a particularly bad episode over the past 5 days. He is talking to himself, breaking things, telling everyone we are steal… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
My brother has suffered with bouts of severe bipolar mania
My brother has suffered with bouts of severe bipolar mania for 20 years. Over the past many years, living in IL., we have explored every avenue to get him help during these episodes (police, doctors, … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
I have bipolar Iv only been to bad manic episodes ,,, the dr
Hi I have bipolar Iv only been to bad manic episodes ,,, the dr decided I needed antidepressants as well I currently take lithium and Risperdal which is really effective against my manic mood ... I am… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
Bipoar depression bipolar 1 disorder, ptsd, adhd, and axiety
Bipoar depression bipolar 1 disorder , ptsd, adhd, and axiety best treatments. I am on Wellbutrin adavan gabapentin and adderoll . These were working but I'm now so far back that I feel like I did whe… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
I have had bipolar mania for years and have mostly manic for
I have had bipolar mania for years and have mostly manic for almost two years. Have recently severely manic with hallucinations and I had to be hospitalized recently. Have been taking 300mg of trazodo… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
I am suffering greatly from bipolar depression, am taking my
I am suffering greatly from bipolar depression, am taking my lithium and Klonopin but cannot get in to see my M.D. until 6/26. In the meantime, I'm depressed, fatigued, hopeless, VERY irritable (ask m… read more
Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark
Doctoral Degree
129 satisfied customers
OKMH524211 My father is diagnosed with Bipolar disease and
OKMH524211 Hello there. My father is diagnosed with Bipolar disease and have been suffering from the disease for over 20+ years. Im his eldest son, 24 years old, and have witnessed his first Manic epi… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
I was dx with add, ocd tendencies and anxiety 10 years ago.
I was dx with add, ocd tendencies and anxiety 10 years ago. I stopped the adderal.meds bc if the crash they caused. I hear there is a time release that works good but in a new state and need doc tnst … read more
llw26
llw26
Private Practice
Doctoral Degree
11 satisfied customers
Don't understand what bipolar d/o with psychotic features
Don't understand what bipolar d/o with psychotic features means. … read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
My best friend "J" was diagnosed with ADD (or ADHD, I'm not
Hello, my best friend "J" was diagnosed with ADD (or ADHD, I'm not sure the difference), we are in our 40s. But I don't see her having this problem. When she was first diagnosed I just thought, oh it'… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
I have bipolar disorder for 20 years,... I have bipolar
I have bipolar disorder for 20 years,... I have bipolar disorder for 20 years, I eat Zoloft 50mg,seroquel 200mg and Depakin 500mg(Compound Sodium Valproate and Valproic Acid Sustained Release Tablets)… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x