Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
Whenever someone has a history of being sexually abused as a child, it can cause a variety of sexual and psychological problems when they become adults. They have difficulty with arousal, have sexual thoughts and feelings that are disturbing to them, feel like sex is a chore and may feel anger or fear when sex is brought up. There are also numerous other psychological effects from depression to anxiety, suicidal feelings, post traumatic stress disorder and sleep problems. Understanding how sexual abuse affects your girlfriend will help you help her cope better.
What you can start doing to help your girlfriend is talk to her. Let her know you want to be there for her. Let her talk to you about her feelings and try to remain neutral, no judging. Do not pressure her, but just be there for her.
When you talk about sex, ask her about ways she feels comfortable expressing her feelings for you. Sex does not always mean intercourse. It can be touch or sensation. Ask her if others ways of expressing herself might be easier for her. The more you can ease the pressure, the more she will feel you care. She might also open up and feel safer with you.
Also, learn what you can about sexual abuse. The more you understand the effects, the more in touch with her you can be. Here are some books that can help you get started:
Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child by XXXXX XXXXX
The Courage to Heal 4e: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse 20th Anniversary Edition by Ellen Bass and XXXXX XXXXX
Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse: Practical Self-help For Adults Who Were Sexually Abused As Children by Carolyn Ainscough and Kay Toon
It is also important to let her know she is not alone in how she feels. Oftentimes, people who are abused feel no one understands and no one can help them. But there is help for her, if she wants it. Ask her if she would consider a support group. Sharing how she feels with others will help her heal from the trauma. She can contact her local community mental health center for support groups in her area.
Also, it is a good idea she at least consider therapy. It is hard to share such a horrific experience, but therapists understand this and can help her begin to find ways to heal. She can talk with her doctor about a referral, or if she attends church, her pastor can help. She can also search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
She needs to understand that there is help out there and there are many options for her in her recovery. She can go on to have a better, more closer relationship with you with support and help.
I hope this helps you,