Mental Health

Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Mental Health
This answer was rated:

I have a husband that is angry at me frequently but has

never threatened to have an...
I have a husband that is angry at me frequently but has never threatened to have an affair on me. However, today we were in disagreement regarding an additional place to purchase and said "I am not going to be prisoner of our home and I'm pushing 50. I'll have an affair on you and I know I can"! Now this has put a whole new topic in place not to mention the original discussion.
My question to you is~should I be worried? Does this mean he has someone in mind or on a back burner? Or does it just mean he is trying to get his way by making me live in fear? It's all very sad and confusing and I would certainly appreciate any advice you can share with me.
Thanks for your time.
Caroline
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 21 minutes by:
3/24/2011
TherapistMarryAnn
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,857
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Verified

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

It does sound like this could be one of two things. Either your husband is considering an affair, or he is using the idea of an affair as a threat to control you.

From your description of his behavior, it does sound like he is using the idea of an affair as a threat. You mentioned that he tries to control other areas of your life like how much you work and by coming home yelling at you and criticizing you. These are all indications that he is trying to control you.

Somewhere along the line, he picked up that you find the idea of him having an affair upsetting. Maybe you have talked about it or it came up in an argument. Either way, he knows this information and is now using it against you.

There is also a small possibility that he is really having an affair. There may be signs you can look for to tell if he is cheating. Has his behavior changed a lot recently? Does he take more care in grooming or has he lost weight? Has he stopped coming home during the week or been gone more over the weekend? These are some of the changes in behavior to look out for.

Do you feel your husband would be willing to go to counseling? The issues in your marriage need to be addressed and his treatment of you should change. He needs to learn better ways to communicate and how to deal with his anger issues.

What he is doing to you is a form of emotional abuse. There is also a site that can help you learn more about his behavior and what you can do to help yourself:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

Are there any friends or family you can turn to for support? It is important that you have others you can turn to if you need extra support or if the situation gets worse.

You also might want to consider seeing a counselor if your husband refuses. Talk with your doctor about a referral or if you attend church, your pastor can help. You can also search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/. A therapist can help you sort out your feelings and determine how you can respond better to your husband's issues.

I hope this helps you,
Kate

TherapistMarryAnn
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,857
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Verified
TherapistMarryAnn and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask TherapistMarryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,857
5,857 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

TherapistMarryAnn is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

5,857 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
I feel this feeling of guilt and sadness and I'm not sure
I feel this feeling of guilt and sadness and I'm not sure why Would you happen to have an explanation for that … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
I need advice on my relationship and my happiness. I'm
I need advice on my relationship and my happiness. I'm dealing with a lot of stress and depression… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
I feel sad so much I need help dealing with how I feel
I feel sad so much I need help dealing with how I feel because it's affecting with my relationship with my boyfriend and my happiness in general… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
What can I do to help my son who is bipolar? He has been
What can I do to help my son who is bipolar? He has been fine for 3 years and now his daughter is blaming him for not having enough money to pay for another school because she dropped out of school wh… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
Second opinion] OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad
second opinion] OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad state of mind ever since my mother figure passed away last year. I suffer from insomnia ever since. Loss of interest in daily activities. I p… read more
Juliet Cooper
Juliet Cooper
Doctorate of Psychology
29 satisfied customers
OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad state of mind
OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad state of mind ever since my mother figure passed away last year. I suffer from insomnia ever since. I've been sad often. I noticed my mood is better when I'm… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
OKMH95100 I feel like my husband does not care about me. My
OKMH95100 I feel like my husband does not care about me. My birthday is ***** and my husband told me to buy my own gift and buy my own flowers from the grocery store with his credit card. He is out of… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
I have this weird feeling that comes and goes ,, i used to
i have this weird feeling that comes and goes ,, i used to have anxiety and used Lexotan 3mg for about 3 years ,, i have stopped using it for like 6 to 7 months i felt fine , now im coping/struggling … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
I am 54 and sad and lonely, just like the lady I am reading
I am 54 and sad and lonely, just like the lady I am reading about right now. … read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
I am so sad and exhausted. My baby brother dies April 2015,
I am so sad and exhausted. My baby brother dies April 2015, 18 months later i list my Mom. I had been her caterer … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
For the past three years, I felt sad, I thought it was just
For the past three years, I felt sad, I thought it was just temporary, but I feel like I get worse at every waking moment, there shouldn't be a valid reason for me to feel this way, but just last year… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
Am very heart broken and sad while writing this, my 5 year
Hi Am very heart broken and sad while writing this, my 5 year old has treble in school, she had treble once we were in Iraq last year when she doesn't like a class member or a teacher she won't perfor… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
Im feeling very sad and isolated ... yes... Im on brintillex
yes... Im on brintillex 30 mg and amytryptallin at night to sleep … read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
My daughter is 32yrs old and for the last week has been sad,
My daughter is 32yrs old and for the last week has been sad, depressed emotional, and very tired. She has had some weight gain. He current mood has affected her at work and at home we try to talk to h… read more
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
Therapist
5,857 satisfied customers
I'm always sad! Yes I've lost very important family members
I'm always sad! Yes I've lost very important family members and a relationship with my daughter's father ended in 2008. Though the relationship ended so long ago deep inside I have a lot of feelings f… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
I feel no emotions but anger and apathy. I don't get sad,
I feel no emotions but anger and apathy. I don't get sad, happy, excited, or scared. I have no emotional connection to anyone or anything but my daughter. And before I had her I didn't feel love for a… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I have recently been diagnosed with severe depression, SAD,
I have recently been diagnosed with severe depression, SAD, Bipolar depression, and mild anxiety - also possibly ADD. I have been taking Wellbutrin for awhile now with no results. I'm on 100 mg and th… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
I'm been suffering from some sadness from the passing of my
Hi, I'm been suffering from some sadness from the passing of my dad in Feb. and now the past few months I'm having hot flashes. I received a prescription a week ago for Venlafaxine. I have not taken i… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x