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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5838
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I am 340+ pounds and for years have joined programs

Customer Question

I am 340+ pounds and for years have joined programs (currently Weight Watchers) yet can never feel a settled heart and just go forward. I keep staying in indecision that I should be doing something else so I'll do that and then do the same thing over & over for about 15 years now. I am miserable with myself 7 it overshadows my whole life. What do i do with myself so I can go forward?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 6 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like counseling would benefit you. I know you said you have tried counseling before, but may be it did not address what is preventing you from moving forward on your weight loss and other things in your life.

You said you have tried a lot of weight loss programs, including Weight Watchers. Weight Watchers is known as the best program for weight loss. That does not mean it works for everyone, but my point here is that you are doing all the right things to help yourself to lose the weight. Therefore, there must be something emotional holding you back.

In my experience, when someone does all the right things and has all the right tools to lose weight but does not, there is something going on inside preventing them from following through. In the worst case, it is a history of sexual abuse. In the least, it can be a habit of overeating that is very hard to break. A habit formed by emotional need.

What you need to do is determine what you feel is the emotional cause of your weight. If therapy did not do this for you before, you may want to consider searching for a new therapist, one who is experienced in weight loss and the emotions behind it. You can ask your doctor for a referral again, or if you attend church, your pastor may help. You can also search on line at

Here are some books that can help you get started.

The Food and Feelings Workbook: A Full Course Meal on Emotional Health by Karen R. Koenig.

Life is Hard, Food is Easy: The 5-Step Plan to Overcome Emotional Eating and Lose Weight on Any Diet by Linda Spangle

Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: How to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle by Michelle May

Please let me know if you have any more questions. I hope this has helped you,


TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I did speak with my Pastor several times and he feels I need to forgive the past & move on from it. More counseling (from someone else) is probably not affordable to me right now.
He also feels I need to work on my negative thinking and being somewhat passive aggresive about dealing with hard things in behavior.
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 6 years ago.

I agree. Whatever is in your past, moving on from that is going to help you a lot. The pastor sounds like he is insightful and helpful.

If you cannot afford counseling, you can try contacting the local community mental health center. They often see people on a sliding fee scale.

Be good to yourself. If you suffered in your past, you need to take time and work on your issues. Any progress you make is good progress. You are already doing well by being very motivated to seek help. And as you make progress, it will become easier to lose the weight.