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Sarah, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 143
Experience:  Chart'd Psych, 12 yrs exp. English prisons, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EMDR Therapist, BPS, HPC reg'd.
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This is going to be hard for me, my mother and I didn't get

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this is going to be hard for me , my mother and I didn't get along at all. ''she abuse me for most of my life. ''I still dont understand why do I still have dreams about her , and please listen befour your anwers this question, am a 41 year old single mother of 3 and I worry all the time about my children. and about when am I going to die, my mother and father die at early age my mother was 47 and my father was 53, I stay depress most of the time and the things that I worrie about may seem like nothing to everyone eles,'' but it often makes me stick, ''for example I want to stay in my room all the time and eat every thing under the sun, yes I take med for the depresstion but it's not working and the doctors say give it time and It seems like time is running out, in my mind .note Iworry if they are going to come home from school, and if they go to the store will they be all daughter is 21,and out of my house my oldest son is 19and still at home with me his trying too get in school , and my baby boy just turn 15 and I worry about him as well, I will worry aboutevery thing even to when the world is going to end. I cant enjoy anything seems like any more , I cry more than I want to tell any one. I pray and it seem to me sometime that GOD is not listening to me, I have lost my home, my furiture, even my mind I feel like," nothing seems to matter any more ,and even if my daughter is out of my house I worry about her to. and  I can't date any one because I am to ashame to tell them what wrong with me,
Sarah : Hi there, thanks for your question. I am going to change the format to Q and A as you are offline at the moment. You can reply whenever you wish to.
I appreciate that it was hard for you to write that out, I can feel your stress and tension coming from your words. I hope I can suggest something that will help you. I have read everything that you have said, and I am going to suggest that you find yourself an EMDR therapist, who helps people overcome the long lasting and emotional effects of trauma, of which abuse as a child is one. The effects of trauma remain in the subconscious mind for a very long time and get worse as the years go by. Please believe me when I say that you are not alone in your feelings and that there are therapies that can genuinely help you, perhaps even to reduce and eventually remove the tablets that you take. You have done so well to bring up your three children and now it is time to give some time to yourself - if you find this difficult, please believe that your children will benefit too, because I bet they worry about you and it will reduce that worry for them along the way. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing, and uses a gentle tapping technique to allow your memories to surface, no. Matter how difficult, and to let them go, so that they aren't held in your body anymore. The thing is, we hold onto the negative emotions and they are what make us so sad, depressed and demotivated. Try The therapist will lead you through every step of the way in a kind and gentle environment, without being judgemental of you. If you are limited in the amount of cash you have, give the therapist a call and let them know. They may still be able to help you. Alternatively, try and find a Thought Field Therapist in your area, as this therapy is very fast and effective, so would probably be cheaper, but just as powerful. If you would like to let me know what part of America you are in, I can help you to do a search on the internet if you like. Please do try and help yourself in this, because you, and your family, deserve it. Do not be afraid - a therapist always wants people to feel much better than they do and will provide a great environment for that to happen for you. Well done for getting this far, I know it was a difficult for you. Feel free to reply, or ask a further question, or press the accept button if this answer has helped you. It is the only way we get paid for our time spent on this site. With very Best Wishes, Sarah
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
thank you far your insight,'' I live in memephis tn ( in the mid town area )I dont have any health insurance. ''and I know that I need help but were do I go it , it's begining to get hard ,and hard every day. I have gain 30 pounds for eating comfort food, ''now I have got to try to loose it, and the guy that I thought Iwas going to marry is getting marryed too some one eles. in 1 month. on the same day that he was suppose toomarry me.all this is making me feel less than a woman , sister , friend now my heart is broken too and now the blues have set  in,unlove is what I  fell  by my mother, my friends and now him.

Hello there in Memphis,

I am so sorry to hear how sad you are. I can see how your losses across time have compounded each other, each one bringing up the sadness from the one before. I understand that this man has broken your heart, but maybe it wasn't meant to be and perhaps the other lady who he is marrying will have to live with this man's issues and habits - perhaps he will break her heart too in time. Do please have a look at this website it is an EMDR centre in Memphis. Even if you have no health insurance, go and visit them, or call them, as they may be able to help you or may know somewhere else you can gain assistance. As you can see from their site, they will understand totally where your heartbreak is coming from. My professional perspective on your eating patterns is that this is a response to the 'emptiness' (or whatever you would call it) that comes from your experiences both in the past and more recently. The food is intended to 'fill the gaps' and to make you feel better, which is why it is called 'comfort food' or 'comfort eating' - but as you are probably finding, it really won't meet your emotional needs, and you will put on weight and that becomes a further problem. It might help you to know that this is a standard pattern and you are not alone in it - there are many women and men who eat to try and make themselves feel better. It's so difficult to help you over the internet with this, so please do contact the EMDR centre in your town and they should point you in the right direction. Ring them today!!! Take care now, Sarah

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Ms. Sarah I will get in contact with them to day. I have so much going on mental.that it so hard to keep focus on everyday life. my heart and mind dont work together well,but I am so glay that you took the time to listen too me thank you again but I wish all of this would go way. or I had an easy life botton, I also that my children are hurting too from all this madness and I fell bad for my babies too and I work alot of hours too keep from dealing with my issuse like 16to 18 a week. when my reg work week is 40 it all comes out to 120hours every two weeks. some thing is going to have to give and it not going to be me . thank you again
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

and I checked the information you give me and I will do some following up on it and in the mean time I will but trying to find some one to help me with this issuse, I hope in time I can fell like myself again, Because I can even do the things I enjoy such as reading or have my book club meetings, Ms Sarah he really did hurt me emtional because this was my hight school sweet-heart and we have a 19yearold son together and he and just broken up maybe 9months ago and now his getting married to this woman. thats hard pill to take but life must go on for me and I work on myself .

You are a very brave lady, and I can hear your fighting spirit now. You know in your heart that you deserve better than this and you know also that your children need their mummy to be herself again. Try not to chastise yourself for the material things that you cannot provide - your children will love you for your time, your love and your kind words, more than anything. Stick with the things you enjoy, even if its only 10 minutes - try and do these things instead of eating - cuddle the children, talk to them about how much you love them, even if they are asleep, it can make you feel so good, you won't need the food. It all needs paying for, you will be saving money too. Imagine all of the things you would like to say to this man and say them out loud, as if to him. Tell him how much he has hurt you, how deeply you feel/felt for him, but how you are now going to protect yourself and be strong for those who love you. Imagine him in the basket of a hot air balloon, floating into the sky - keep it on strings that you are in control, so you can decide how high and far away you can allow him to be. Draw him closer so you can tell him how he much he has hurt you, then allow him drift further and further away, until one day, whenever you are ready, you will need him no more and you can cut the strings for good. I understand he is the father of your son and you will always therefore have some connection to him in your life - but the strings need not come from the heart - eventually they can come from somewhere less painful. I repeat, you are a very brave lady and you can do this for yourself and your children. Do follow this through - you can be strong for yourself. Big Best Wishes from England to Memphis, Sarah (Do you live near Gracelands? - do please send a kiss in the right direction from me!!)

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
thank you for all of you help.and I stay about 10 min from grace land, I can send you some post cards if you like for me too.just give me an address,to send they too and may God bless and keep you in his loving arm's here is my email address *****@******.*** just email me so time to keep in touch, again thank you ang God bless
You are very kind. Site rules state no personal details (your email address is blocked) so I cannot contact you. Please send him a kiss from me. Now I can feel your warmth in your email - you seem a little better already. You have very lucky children to have a great mom like you. Those people in that centre have been sent to help you, so please contact them. I think it is all part of the Great Plan. Best Wishes, Sarah
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