Mental Health

Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Mental Health
This answer was rated:

You were really helpful to me last November, and I'm hoping

Hi--you were really helpful to...
Hi--you were really helpful to me last November, and I'm hoping we can talk again--are you there?
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 24 minutes by:
3/1/2011
mindhealer
mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience: Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
Verified
mindhealer :

Hello I'm here but have just gotten home from work...could you give me a few moments to get settled...and I will be right back. Is that ok? :)

Customer:

That's perfect. Thanks so much!

mindhealer :

You are most welcome. I won't be very long...just about 5 minutes or so to take care of the dog and such.

mindhealer :

Hello. I'm back. How can I help?

Customer:

I'm really feeling bullied by my boss. We've had a rough relationship for awhile, but about 2 weeks ago he sent me a long, vicious email full of a lot of accusations, most of which are either false or have long been addressed. I've been emailing him responses, forwarding him emails from people very happy with my work, asking other people to tell him how happy they are with my work, etc., and get no response. I've also stopped in to talk with him twice in person, and I might as well be talking to a brick wall. I do have a plan to apply for another job that I'm pretty sure I'd get, but that's been very slow in getting posted, and in the meantime I can't afford financially or psychologically to leave. Oh, and it's a tiny non-profit, so he doesn't have a superior, and I really don't want to provoke him by going to the president of the board. Survival tips most welcome...

mindhealer :

Thank you for that thorough description. Based on what you have identified it sounds like for some reason or another your boss is displacing his anger toward you. The reason that he is not responding to the e-mails you have forwarded and appears to be a "brick wall" when you speak with him is because the accusations are unfounded and he actually has no response to them. May I ask...did anything of significance happen when the long email happened 2 weeks ago? Anything that you can recall?

Customer:

Not really; he said he'd been saving these items up for awhile. Part of it might be that he was involved in a couple of very large projects (one personal, one professional) that have basically now come to fruition. While he was working on those, it was impossible to get his attention (and he actually did express appreciation for the entire staff having given him space during that period). Now that he has more time, he seems to be back to lighting into me (this isn't the first time, but it's the first time more or less out of the blue).

mindhealer :

Ok. Has he singled anyone else out either now or that you have noticed in the past?

Customer:

Nope. There was another staff member who also had much difficulty getting his attention, but my perception is that as soon as she came out as bisexual (my boss is gay), things got easier for her.

Customer:

(But there are plenty of straight people in the office that he seems to be able to deal with.)

mindhealer :

I see.....it sounds as though he's playing favorites....bullies in general tend to prey on those that they feel will be most impacted for some reason...it's a matter of a power trip if you will. My suggestion at this point is not to try to gain his approval by having others come to your defense or trying to talk reason into him...which in all honesty is fruitless. The best approach is to answer his e-mails matter of factly and keep it completely professional. By you responding to them...and personalizing them...which believe me I know it is difficult not to given the circumstances...this actually fuels his "power surge" and make him continue...if your responses are factual and "robotic" this behavior of his will likely start to dissipate

Customer:

Yeah...they have been pretty robotic, but I can make them even more so. That helps, but what I need is something for me...he DOES play favorites, and the hard part has been that I used to be the favorite, and refused to play along when he wanted to elevate me over some other folks. For some reason, I continue to desperately crave his approval, and I'm trying to figure out how to break that.

Customer:

(And it won't be a surprise that my father was bipolar...)

mindhealer :

You sound to me to be an accomplished professional...you need not seek his approval...the only approval you need to seek out is your own. This happens over time and I can suggest a workbook to help you work on your self esteem if you would like?

Customer:

That would help, but I'm also interested to know if there are any tricks I can apply right away?

Customer:

That book looks really good, thanks.

mindhealer :

Here is the link for the workbook...as for immediate things to do...all I can honestly suggest is to do your work...don't give him any ins and if he singles you out tell him you feel you are being verbally abused and you need time to yourself and walk away. This will display your strength and that his bullying isn't phasing you!

Customer:

The problem is that he doesn't abuse me verbally; it's in email. (A big, big clue with the email from a couple of weeks ago was that he said something to the effect, "oh, and this is something that can be deleted." Trust me, it ain't getting deleted!)

Customer:

But what I'm hearing is that I shouldn't respond to him, the way he doesn't respond to me, except in very dry terms.

mindhealer :

Thats precisely what I'm saying!!

Customer:

Great. Again, you've been very, very helpful.

mindhealer :

You are sincerely ***** ***** there anything else I can do?

mindhealer :

May I offer one additional workbook on stress management before we end?

Customer:

Please.

mindhealer :

There you are. You'll find it very helpful Im sure

mindhealer :

If thre is nothing further you can end the chat by clicking the ACCEPT button. I wish you the very best and as always you can always ask for me personally as you did tonight

Customer:

That one looks good too. Thanks--I'll check in again if things escalate further.

mindhealer
mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience: Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
Verified
mindhealer and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask mindhealer Your Own Question
mindhealer
mindhealer
mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
693 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience

mindhealer is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

4,021 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
I'm a Bipolar 36 year-old male with severe anxiety and
I'm a Bipolar 36 year-old male with severe anxiety and depression. What is the best anxiety medicine I should be taken? I've taken Clonazepam for 8 years and it no longer helps. Would another drug lik… read more
Dr. Phil, MD
Dr. Phil, MD
Internal Medicine Physician
Doctoral Degree
2,677 satisfied customers
I am off my meds for about 3 month now was diagnosed bipolar
I am off my meds for about 3 month now was diagnosed bipolar with mild sckitfrenia and don't want to have to go back to a hospital to get back on my meds they always want to try several different drug… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
204 satisfied customers
I was continuously bullied and dismissed. I have been seeing
Hi doctor,My name is***** was continuously bullied and dismissed. I have been seeing GP for more than 18 months for depression, anxiety and PTSD. Recently, I was admitted to hospital for six weeks. No… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
794 satisfied customers
Our son just told us that he has been bullied really bad in
Our son just told us that he has been bullied really bad in the last couple of years but it is getting unbearable now. He doesn't want to go back to school … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
A week ago Saturday I took 20mg's of Latuda for my Bipolar
A week ago Saturday I took 20mg's of Latuda for my Bipolar Disorder when I was upset I crushed it with my tooth not realizing that I was not supposed to do that. I had a sore throat after. I was afrai… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
204 satisfied customers
OKMH1130211 Hiw can I handle stress better especially when I
OKMH1130211 Hiw can I handle stress better especially when I have several situations in my life which are overwhelming and seems impossible?… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
794 satisfied customers
I feel stressed, I don't know if my stress levels are normal
Hello , I feel stressed , I don't know if my stress levels are normal or do I need to seek medical help … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
767 satisfied customers
Can stress in the workplace cause indigestion, stomach upset
Can stress in the workplace cause indigestion, stomach upset and bloating? … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
767 satisfied customers
I have a new job. It's highly stressful and I work hours
I have a new job. It's highly stressful and I work long hours sometimes 15 a day. I'm starting to have what I think are panic stacks. What do I do? … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
204 satisfied customers
I have bipolar disorder and take usual cocktail of meds. I
I have bipolar disorder and take usual cocktail of meds. I tend to depression … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
204 satisfied customers
I have OCD, depression, and my mom was bipolar. Is it true
I have OCD, depression, and my mom was bipolar. Is it true when you move back to the state you had most problem after moving away you cam have ptsd and feel worse also have more problem?… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I'm going through a stressful period and would like some
I'm going through a stressful period and would like some relief from stress & pain, … read more
Dr. Thomas, MD
Dr. Thomas, MD
2,227 satisfied customers
Ineed help, no not yet i take pain killers advil, im bipolar
hi ineed help JA: Have you seen a doctor about this yet? What medications are you taking? Customer: no not yet i take pain killers advil JA: How long have you had the pain? What seems to make the pain… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
767 satisfied customers
I'm writing because I'm in a very stressful upsetting
Hi,I'm writing because I'm in a very stressful upsetting relationship, and I need to make sense of it. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is an angry guy by nature. I think he's a bit narci… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
767 satisfied customers
My son has a Bipolar Disorder and he undergoing relapsed
My son has a Bipolar Disorder and he undergoing relapsed while in China. My wife just went to him and she gave him 600 Lithium Carbonate and now thinking it was Ambien gave him 2 mg (4 hours later) of… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
204 satisfied customers
I am stressing out at work because I work for a covert
I am stressing out at work because I work for a covert bully. He is a sociopath. He has made my life hell for two months. I am. Losing sleep and I carry stress in the pit of my stomach. I haven't been… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I have bipolar Iv only been to bad manic episodes ,,, the dr
Hi I have bipolar Iv only been to bad manic episodes ,,, the dr decided I needed antidepressants as well I currently take lithium and Risperdal which is really effective against my manic mood ... I am… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
767 satisfied customers
I have a question about bullying… what is the scope of its
I have a question about bullying… what is the scope of its general definition versus more specific labeling of wrong doing. My wife and I are in our late 50's. We have had a contractor at our house fo… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
794 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x