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Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 454
Experience:  Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
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Having a hard time dealing with cheating spouse. Just found

Resolved Question:

having a hard time dealing with cheating spouse. Just found out he has a 5 yaer old and has cheated with a number of different women. he refuses to discuss what he calls the past and just wants to move forward.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kristin replied 6 years ago.

I can certainly understand why this discovery is more than upsetting for you. Can you tell me how you found out about the child and the cheating? How many women would you say there were, and also when was he doing this?

How long have you been married? Please provide this information so I can best help you.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Found out totally by chance. Was doing him a favor by taking his car to the repair shop and found a fathers day card from the child while removing his personal effects from the back of the vehicle. We've been together a total of 14 1/2 yrs with 12yr old twins.

I don't know for sure how many there have been will never know the truth. Have seen evidence of at least 3.

He claims it's been 3+ years but i do not believe that. I think as late as early 2010 for sure 2009.

Expert:  Kristin replied 6 years ago.

Okay thank you for the additional information. You must have been beyond shocked when you found that card from his child. Of course, you cannot believe what he says to you, as he has betrayed you many times, and in many ways.

It's very possible that he could have a sexual addiction, or that he is a serial cheater for other reasons. Regardless, counseling for him is going to be mandatory. Perhaps you two could even see a marriage therapist, together. Though your husband needs his own counseling in addition to that. He needs to uncover why he has acted out with all of these women, and where he goes from here.

I don't know why he is not at that point yet, but you can certainly let him know that you expect him to seek counseling, otherwise the chance of your marriage working, is not very good. You do certainly deserve honesty and respect from your husband. It's good that you are in therapy, as you will need this professional support to get through this and also to gain clarity on what you would like to do, from here. I really wish you all the best. Please click ACCEPT button for this information, so I'm credited for my help. Thank you... feel free to ask more, even after clicking ACCEPT if needed.

Kristin and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Kristin replied 6 years ago.
Did you have any more questions for me? If so, please feel free to ask. Otherwise please click ACCEPT button, otherwise I'm not credited for my assistance. Thank you.