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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5334
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology in private practice
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I have reasons to think my husband of 21 years has Schizoid

Customer Question

I have reasons to think my husband of 21 years has Schizoid personality traits .Might this tie in somehow with the fact that he wants total control of every decision to be made in the renovations of a cottage I own? While I appreciate that he is contributing financially to the project , he has on more than one occasion asked me to 'give him my power'.He is a medico who has successfully renovated old Qld's in his spare time and I am the first to acknowledge that he has experience. Only in regard to the choice a particular cabinet maker have I stood my ground. This is at a cost as I feel he is trying to break my spirit-albeit unintentionally.What to do ! Maggie
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 6 years ago.

Hi, Maggie! You know, to give you the best answer, I think I should ask you a few questions first that will help define the problem and the situation.

Maggie, if we decide that schizoid personality disorder is the most apropos description for your husband or if we decide narcissistic personality disorder is the most fitting, will you still be in the same situation?

Is your question that you are becoming unable to handle the difficulties of being with him?

You've managed for 21 years, are you ready to make an ultimatum for him to back off on this project or you will leave?

What other options might you consider?

Any extra information that will help, feel free to share.

Let's go forward from the answers to these questions.

I see you are offline at this time. I may be away from the computer before you respond. If so, would tomorrow (US time) be okay for me to respond?

Dr. Mark

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Sorry ,no . I want to know if the need for absolute control is typical of the profile of someone with schizoid tendencies.
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 6 years ago.

Thank you, ***** ***** the added information. It helps a lot. I believe I can now be of help with this issue.

I don't think that schizoid personality disorder is the diagnosis that would be typical of someone who needs the kind of control you are referring to. I think that narcissistic personality disorder is closer to a diagnosis that fits that profile.

Schizoid personalities tend to shy away from people and be solitary. That is a very dominant trait of this personality type. They tend to be unemotional and cold, detached, secretive.

Narcissistic personalities tend to be self centered, very rigid in their thinking, controlling, always right. the problem is never with them, always with the other person. Grandiosity and inflated sense of self worth can be a problem.

From what you've described, I went toward NPD more than schizoid personality.

Okay, Maggie, I wish you the very best!

Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue, just put "for Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, ***** *****

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

I do not feel this is a satisfactory answer- too one dimensional. When I initially said I had reason to believe my husband had traits of a Schizoid individual I meant it :often he is emotionally detached and somewhat socially inept and at times oblivious to certain social cues, has an extraordinary intellect yet is always at a loss as to what to write on ,say, a birthday card ---- the list goes on .He has never appeared self-centered or full of grandiose plans.So thanks but no thanks - I shall muddle on .No more advice please.

Maggie.

Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 6 years ago.
That's fine. But Maggie, may I recommend you reread everything you wrote to me and then read how you assumed I might know what you might mean without telling me. So consider that to help you in communicating clearly as it will help with your husband given his problems you've identified. All the best, ***** *****