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Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 454
Experience:  Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
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Why are alcoholic parents allowed unsupervised visitation

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Why are alcoholic parents allowed unsupervised visitation rights with their children when alcoholism is a deal breaker for foster or adoptive parents? My daughter stays in a terrible marriage to an alcoholic to protect her child since a divorce would force the child to live in terror and abuse every other weekend with an irresonsible alcoholic against her wishes.

Hello and thank you for your question.

I can understand how concerned and frustrated you are with this situation. How often is he drinking and how much? What are his behaviors while intoxicated? Is he abusive, driving, etc?

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Somehowhe is a semi functional alcholic. He misses much work yet keeps his job. When not working, he is drinking away from home and often brings it home which his wife pours out. He is emotionally and verbally abusive, only comes homes to sleep for a few hours and the is off again. He pays the bills but that is all. He does not eat a meal with the family or spend any time with them . The house is like a hotel. He will not leave or file for divorce because he spend every extra cent on alcohol. He has had one DUI. Naturally, we feel the cild's safety would be in jeopardy with his having her for a weekend. Maybe she could survive a few hours alone with the alcoholic but not 48 hours.Of couse the father should see the child but her safety and well-being would be at risk for long periods. He is not in any shape to care for a child when drinking.

Thank you for the additional information. Your daughter needs to start documenting all of his drinking and daily habits etc, the emotional and verbal abuse, etc. and hide this documentation from him. Agreed that the child should not be with him unsupervised from what you describe here, and most courts/judges would agree. With a child this age, they take great caution and they do and will order supervised visitation when there is risk of harm.

Some of these questions are for an attorney of course, but your daughter can file a request for a psychological evaluation (with the courts) and her husband will be thoroughly assessed for emotional stability, alcohol and drug use and abuse, parenting, etc.

Also, many supervised visitation centers require drug testing if there is an issue with substance, etc. If he doesn't pass, that will be documented. What I'm saying here is that there are options other than just staying with him. The DUI, will also be solid evidence necessary in your daughter's favor. She really needs to talk with a family law attorney, get informed, and then make informed decisions about this.

There is hope here. Any evidence and/or witnesses to his behavior and drinking are also very important as well. Again, alcohol testing and drug testing etc. can be ordered etc. Your daughter and this child do have rights... so please tell your daughter to seek out legal advice. Typically a psychological evaluation ordered by the court, will easily show that he is not fit and has alcohol issues that need to be addressed before the child is left in his care. Please click green ACCEPT button, otherwise I'm not credited for my help today. I truly with you all the Best with this. Thank you.

Kristin and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

Also, if you have any more questions for me, about this please do feel free to ask.

Otherwise, please click ACCEPT button. Warm regards,