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Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 454
Experience:  Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
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My new daughter-in-law has indicated her "interest" in

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My new daughter-in-law has indicated her "interest" in becoming pregnant. I know for a fact that she is currently taking three different antipsychotic drugs. When I approached the subject with her that medications can effect a developing embryo, her response was that she was only taking "1 pill a day", and her psychiatrist feels she will be able to decrease her dose down to nothing within two months. She did not admit to taking the three other drugs. How can I assure that my son's future children will be born as healthy as possible, without being labelled as a meddling mother-in-law?

Hello and thank you for your question.

I can certainly understand your concerns for the safety and health of a developing baby.

If she is saying that she is going to taper off all medications within two months, and then try to get pregnant, that is one thing. It could be that she didn't want to admit that she is taking 3 medications, but intends to taper off of them all.

However, you cannot be sure of that. What I would do is speak to your son about this. It is a very important issue and considering it's for the wellbeing of a child, and also your son and his wife too this is not considered meddling

How were you made aware that she is on the anti psychotics and why is she taking them?

Kristin and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

Somehow you didn't respond to my questions here, but I just saw your comments in the review section.

Okay, so you saw her meds. That is certainly proof. I would definitely talk to your son about this and let him know how concerned you are about the medications and the potential for the damage to a developing fetus. If you were snooping when you found the meds, then you cannot say that you were snooping. You could also give him or her a pamphlet or print out about which medications are safe during pregnancy and which are not and tell her that you know she is coming off the meds, but that you thought this would be useful information for them.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
They visited us last weekend, and she left her medications out. She is taking: Alprazolam (1.5 mg/day) Lexapro (15 mg./day) and Zyprexa (5 mg./day)....I don't remember the name of the one that she "admitted" to taking. Two weeks ago she had my son take her to the emergency room because she was having a "melt-down". He told me that she "messed up" her medication. I never found out what that meant! They only kept her for a few hours, and sent her home. She told us that she was annoyed because she knew that she was dehydrated and the emergency room did "nothing about it"! This was NOT her first visit to the ER.... I just don't know how to make my son aware.....he is not a stupid person, but, if I ask any questions about her, he either "shuts down" or defends her. I have to believe that deep inside he knows this is all wrong, but doesn't know how to deal with it himself. HELP!!!!

The bigger issue here that needs to be discussed, is if she is stable enough right now, to even go off the medications. And also how this will affect her during pregnancy and after.

You make your son aware by sitting down with him and telling him that it's very serious that she went to the ER for a meltdown. That you saw the medications that she left out and are concerned about her mental health. then you tell him that she mentioned she wants to get pregnant and that you are even more concerned due to what is going on with her emotionally, as well as the risks due to the medications.

You talk to him and you tell him how you feel, while staying calm. Be persistent and also tell him that he may feel overwhelmed with all of this as well. That he can talk to you about what is going on... It's good that she is seeing a psychiatrist and you could encourage your son to attend with her, so that he knows more about what is going on.

I know you are you must talk with him and not worry about the meddling part. it sounds like he needs some family support with this. Her parents may need to get involved as well, if you don't see any thing improving after talking with him.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

OK....sounds good so far. Her parents are part of the problem......her mother has the whole family seeing this psychiatrist.....husband, son, other daughter, and my son's wife. My son's mother-in-law is called "crazy" and schizophrenic" by her children! Her children call him "Dr. Pill" since the mother visits him for refills. When my daughter-in-law saw this MD last year, he told her that she didn't need to see him anymore, because "Your mother is the crazy one!" Sounds like someone here does not follow HIPPA.... Anyway, for whatever reason, I feel that my son does not face reality and I still can't understand why! After her meltdown, the parents came up to stay with them for a few days. The mother allegedly took her daughter to the psychiatrist. He asked her

when she started having these "anxiety issues". She answered that she thought it began when she started taking birth control pills. So this guy tells her to stop taking the birth control pills! I got this info from my other son. The next time my husband and I saw her, we asked her what had happened. She finally told us that the MD took her "off the pill because that's what was giving her the anxiety attacks"! I aked her what her OB/GYN had to say about that, and she said she had not seen him. We all know that her mother DESPERATELY wants a grandchild, and, in all honesty, I can even see them lying about the visit to the MD, and inventing their story. It upsets me that my son was not involved in ANY of this....and I know he was VERY ANGRY when he got home from work that day and heard "the story". I also don't understand how an MD could tell someone to stop taking birth control if he is treating this person for so many alleged psychiatric problems. I did have a conversation with her during our weekend visit where I mentiond detox....or maybe some form of bio-feedback. (She didn't even know what that was!) So....short story....I don't think my son would discuss anything with her parents. We have all commented from the beginning how tired and unenergetic she is; my son always says it's because of the pills she has to take. In the very beginning I said that she needed to be more closely monitored, and maybe have her medication adjusted. (or maybe see a REAL doctor!!) This is why I am at a loss now.....I do not want to lose my son, but, more importantly, I could never deal with having this mess dropped on a newborn! Do you have any more suggestions??

My this is a mess. They are not in the position to be thinking of having a baby.

You are right in that it sounds like her mother is the source of many of this girl's problems. This young woman is also on a lot of heavy duty medications and yet does anyone know why they were prescribed to her? Why is she taking an antipsychotic?

Yes, I definitely do have another suggestion. This young woman needs to see a different psychiatrist.

Her mother is the one meddling too much in her life by implying she should have a baby with all of this other stuff going on. They are not going to be much help.

The best thing is again, form an alliance with your son and help him to feel supported in this mess. And suggest to your son that his wife sees a different psychiatrist, one that is not treating the entire family and can reassess her needs, medications, etc.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.


Thank you for the best suggestion of all.....a new psychiatrist! I will certainly try this as a suggestion for my son. I know he is not happy with the mother's interference, but for some reason he acquiesces all the time thinking it will make his wife happy. Maybe if I approach this from the "you're married now, you should be doing these MD things together with your wife" he'll become more involved in the decisions affecting HIS life!

Again, I've known from the beginning that there were issues, but thought that I could eventually reach him. I guess I feel more desperate now knowing that she has stopped birth control....and knowing what her agenda is. I have felt all along that she is one of those women to get married to have a baby so she can stop work and be "taken care of". We all know that in today's world that no longer works!

Thanks so much for all of your help, I really appreciate it.....more than I can express!

I hope, if I ever need help again, you are there!

Enjoy the rest of your evening!

You are welcome. I wish you all the best. If you have any questions again, just put To Kristin in front of your next question, and I will be the one to answer you. Thank you.