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Luann, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 158
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist, 24 years experience working with children, adolescents, families and adults.
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My son married a 19 year old girl when he was 27. She has been

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My son married a 19 year old girl when he was 27. She has been in several car accidents, has chronic back pain and takes lots of pain meds to deal with it. She had a device implanted in her spine for pain but doesn't use it. They have become reclusive and I think there is a big drug problem there. I am a physical therapist and know I can help her but she avoids me at all costs. My son has become very angry with me when I try and talk with him about it. He wants me to stay out of their lives. I have always been supportive to him and them but he accuses me of "talking trash" about them which can't be farther from the truth. I have decided to keep a distance because his attitude towards me is abusive. I'm concerned for the both of them.


You are right to be concerned. As you are probably aware, addiction to pain medications is very difficult to treat. The person is usually obtaining their drug of choice legally and it is supported by their physician. What you are describing certainly sounds like an addiction problem. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do. Keeping your distance is smart and the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. It is likely that they will have a crisis at some point, be ready, they will be most open to help and intervention at that time. In the meantime, distance yourself, detach from their issues, but be loving and supportive. They will react negatively to your efforts to intervene but they will feel your love. Find support for yourself, this is not going to be an easy situation.

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thanks. We have already lost one family member to the ravages of drug abuse and I am scared that it will happen again.
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.

I have been to Alanon in the past to help deal with my now deceased ex husband's drug and alcohol problems. I have all the meditation and daily thought books. Really like Melody Beattie.

There are many prescribing doctors as my daughter-in -law shops around. I have not been to their home in several months. A few times I went over and was not allowed in.

I have a friend who lost a son to heart failure from drug abuse. HIs other son was an abuser in his 20's Now he is in his mid 30's and experiencing heart problems, potentially fatal, as well from his past drug use. Young people don't realize how their drug use can have detrimental effects later on. This is what worries me as well.

I am glad to hear you have Alanon literature. Use it. I think you would find a group helpful too. The support can be immeasurable. You are right, drug users don't think of the long term health effects. When your start to worry, which will be often, pull out one of your alanon books and work on turning it over to a spiritual power. Take some consolation in knowing that your son and his girlfriend have a spiritual power watching over them. Good luck to you.

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