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Ask Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH Your Ow...
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 251
Experience:  Over 15 years of experience as a substance abuse therapist. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I have a 21 year old college son who is abusing drugs, has a

Resolved Question:

I have a 21 year old college son who is abusing drugs, has a loser girlfriend, and friends that are using him for money. He has not been raised like this, complains he has no money. We WILL not continue to support his loser lifestyle. He is involved in a college sport and tells me he has anxiety issues. Feel it is from smoking pot. Want to have a good relationship with him, but feels he is making harmful and hurtful decisions. What do I need to do?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH replied 6 years ago.
Hello and thank you for using

I'm sorry to hear your family is going through this. With this type of situation, usually, the only type of intervention that will work is natural consequences and the elimination of any enabling behavior. He is an adult and and he is abusing substances. If he is willing you may want to explore offering to send him to treatment for his substance use and anxiety, you may need to consider doing this just to get help from professionals that can help with this situation. Offering is all you can do and if he is not willing, your main focus, and the best way to help him, is to educate yourself about co-addiction and enabling. It sounds like you are already on the right track with taking the money and making him get a job.

I would encourage you to explore Al-anon meetings or families anonymous meetings in you area in order to get direction from others have experienced these types of problems.
I hope this answer helps. I know this is a difficult answer to hear and that you want a way to help him get well but it's hard to make people change.

I wish you all the best with this situation and please let me know if you have any other questions.
All the best,

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