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Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 251
Experience:  Over 15 years of experience as a substance abuse therapist. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I think my daughter who is currently pregnant and has a 3

Resolved Question:

I think my daughter who is currently pregnant and has a 3 year old child is suffering with depression and keeps cutting me out of her life. She has also cut out her partner's parents from their lives and they like me are unable to do and say anything right. The reason why I think she's depressed is because my mum committed suicide and I too in the past have suffered from depression especially when I'm under any sort of stress. Her son appears to have speech problems and has been told by the health visitor and myself that he needs help but she sees this as criticism and is refusing to do anything. I also told her that because I have suffered from PNT and it's in our family history she too maybe depressed. She's told me that she wants nothing more to do with me. Her partner's mother and myself have become very good friends which she hates because she thinks we are plotting and scheming, which is completely untrue. We comfort each other because we are both unable to see our grandson and neither of us have done anything wrong that warrants this sort of unreasonable treatment. What can I do because she will not take any responsibilty for her behaviour and thinks she doesn't need any help and everything is my fault. I do not know if I will ever be able to have any proper relationship with my daughter because for the past year she's been gradually going worse and is becoming very paranoid and is twisting everything I'm saying or doing. Will I ever be able to have a normal relationship with my daughter again? I can't take any more of her freezing me out of her life. The first time she froze me out was for 6 months and after that it was occuring at increasingly shorter periods of time.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH replied 6 years ago.
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CS :

Hello, Thank you for using Justanswer.com. I am sorry to hear your daughter is going through this. When someone is depressed it is very hard for them to see what is happening to them.

Kym Tolson, LCSW, CS :

Unfortunately, there is very little you can do to help a person in this situation. Sometimes, you have to wait until you believe people are actually suicidal before you can enlist outside help to get her help.

Kym Tolson, LCSW, CS :

I'm thinking since she is already angry and distant from you, you may want to consider (if you haven't already) talking with health visitor about your concerns. The health visitor may be able to require her to take her son for help and sometimes require her to get an assessment for herself. If that intervention doesn't help, all you can do is gently express your love for her and that you are there to help her if she changes her mind and asks for help.

Kym Tolson, LCSW, CS :

You are doing one very positive thing and that is reaching out to someone else (her partner's mother) for support. This type of pain is hard to endure by yourself. I would also suggest seeking a therapist to help you with the sadness and worry you are feeling. Unfortunately, we do not have control over others and how they want to live their lives and you may need to let go for now with the hope that she will get the helps she needs when she is ready to accept she has a problem.

Kym Tolson, LCSW, CS :

Lastly, here is a good online support group for family member who can not directly help their loved ones.

Kym Tolson, LCSW, CS :

http://www.mdjunction.com/depression-in-the-family

Kym Tolson, LCSW, CS :

I wish you all the best with this problem. Please let me know if you need further clarification about this answer.

Kym Tolson, LCSW, CS :

All the best,

Kym Tolson, LCSW, CS :

Kym

Kym Tolson, LCSW, CS :

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